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Song Parodies -> "Stan Polley Want a Cracker: Badfinger"

Original Song Title:

"Polly (aka: Polly Want a Cracker)"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Stan Polley Want a Cracker: Badfinger"

Parody Written by:

Mick Terry

The Lyrics

At some point, this was a parody of Nirvana's Polly (aka: Polly Want a Cracker; aka: Cracker). A new, original melody & total overhaul of the lyrics resulted in a much longer song, quite different from Nirvana's. The lyrics are composed almost exclusively of Badfinger's song & album titles. From the Point of View of Pete Ham.
STAN POLLEY make them fall.
STAN POLLEY take their bread.
STAN POLLEY take their ev'rything.
STAN POLLEY see them dead.

Hey, Mr. Manager!
Know One- Knows,
woh-oh-oh, Where
Do We Go- from Here-.
They don't Believe- Me
When I- Say,
"Better Days
are Maybe Tomorrow".

"Come &- Get- It"
& "Baby Blue",
"No Matter What ..."
were all over the Airwaves.
We wrote the Rock of All Ages:
Nothing to Show.
Carry On Till Tomorrow.

Day After Day--,
you Hold On
to our Money with your
Rock & Roll Contract.
Day After Day--,
You Take It All.
We Keep Believing
there's Just a Chance
we might get it Back Again.

Hey, Mr. Manager!
You Ask Yourself Why
I Can’t Believe in
Old Fashioned Notions?
My Heart Goes Out
to the Apple of My Eye.
Better Days
are Maybe Tomorrow.

Don't mean to Come Down Hard
on Lonely You,
but Without You,
The Name of the Game is Perfection.
Why Don’t We Talk Sometimes-?
Walk In the Rain?
Carry On Till Tomorrow?

Meanwhile Back at the Ranch-,
the King of the Load
is Passin' Time
drinking Moonshine
in the Midnight Sun.
Yeah, I'll Be The One.

Hey, Mr. Manager!
Say No- More.
I Don't- Mind
I Got You-, Midnight Caller.
Don't want your Sympathy
for this Blind Owl.
Better Days
are Maybe Tomorrow.

You're Knocking Down Our Home.
Give It- Up,
the Smokin' Gun of your
Rocking Machine-.
No Suitcase full of Money,
no Turn Around,
no Carry On Till Tomorrow.

In the Meantime / Some Other Time,
No Dice.
You're The Winner,
I'm The Dreamer,
a Three Time Loser.
I've Got to Get Out of Here,
got to Get Away.

I Can't Take It
No More.
Too Hung Up on You
To Say Goodbye,
I'd Die Babe.
No Time Is Mine; It's Over.
Lay Me Down.

Hey, Mr. Manager!
Wish You Were Here.
May the Timeless
Queen of Darkness
shove Icicles
Head First
Straight Up your Ass.

Badfinger: Stan Polley Want a Cracker

Based on the tragic, aggravating & true story of the British band Badfinger, using titles from their songs & albums.
Their American business manager, Stan Polley (4-7-22 to 7-20-09), grossly mismanaged their careers
& funneled almost all of their earnings into his own pockets.
He was never held accountable.
Badfinger was the most "successful" group on The Beatles' Apple record label,
selling millions, yet they never saw their rightful earnings, thanks to Polley.

Pete Ham (4-24-75) & Tom Evans (11-19-83), both in financial, career & spiritual ruin & despair,
committed suicide, cutting short their talented, brilliant & promising lives:
Adding the proverbial insult to injury, Harry Nilsson (1972) is often mistakenly given credit for writing Without You,
including by Mariah Carey on American Idol (2013) after having sold 30+ million copies with her 1994 cover version:

1995: ASCAP awarded Without You for airplay, ceremoniously crediting & paying Joey Molland, Mike Gibbins & Brit manager Bill Collins
as well as the estates of the only writers of Without You, Ham & Evans:
2013: Breaking Bad:

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   3
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Sandy Clara - June 20, 2016 - Report this comment
Can't say it's all that funny. Can't say it matches pace of original. Can say it was about a very sad true situation. Well done in respectful tribute, not to pathetic thief Stan Polley, but to Bad Finger.
Jo Darcy - November 13, 2016 - Report this comment
My vote is for Badfinger.

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