When a wicked witch picks a fight
And sends her chimpanzees out in flight
Judge Bernie, Will be your answer
Judge Bernie, Will solve the crime
If some archvillain roughs you up
I’ll help you out for a few bucks
I’ll hire you the finest lawyers
I’m fair you won’t get screwed
Scooby Doo
You know that when I am presiding
They’ll be sued

I have banned love potions from use
After Hermonie got pregnant, It’s true
I’ve got the finest bailiffs (Damn straight)
Innocent you’ll plead
I arrested Spongebob when high
Burnt down the Krusty Krab that one time
He's condemned
Court Room Mayhem

When Superman went and killed Lois Lane
The man of steel’s too much to take
In the future I nailed Bender
Those DUIs from beer he downed
As long as you show me the proof
I’ll arrest Pluto for saying “Woof”
Ask my jury crew, I am not a liar
(I have a wife and mistress, and smoke bongs)
But till my grave, I’m here to help you right the wrongs

Locked up Edward Cullen, Him too (Now he’s now in prison)
For sucking all the blood out of you (Bad vampire)
You think he’s a hottie, he ain’t
That neck-sucking freak (Much too freaky)
Miss Lovett with her human baked pies (Human)
Didn’t know that murder’s a crime
They’re condemned
Court Room Mayhem

Court Room Mayhem
Hand out gigantic fines
Cops read you your rights
Suck your wallet dry
Sent out to fetch the criminals
Give me your pearls
Respect the law
I jailed Mickey (I jailed Mickey)
That cocaine he clings (Whoa!)

Traffic violations aren’t cool (Traffic violations)
Sent Speed Racer to driving school
Dealing with these weirdoes is strange
But it makes the green
Caught Jason at Camp Crystal Lake
Stabbing campers with sharp tent stakes
Jailed lament (Jailed lament)
Court Room Mayhem (Mayhem, Mayhem, Mayhem)

I will make a motion for you
The creature of the black lagoon
Though I’ve locked up King Kong and Chucky
I will hear your plead
I can read through your every last lie (Boo-Hoo)
Crooks to me are low as grime
You caused torment (You caused torment)
Court Room Mayhem (Ooooh)

Don’t circumvent
Court room has mayhem