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Song Parodies -> "I Would Eat Anything For Lunch (but I Won't Eat That)"

Original Song Title:

"I Would Do Anything For Love (but I Won't Do That)"

Original Performer:

Meat Loaf

Parody Song Title:

"I Would Eat Anything For Lunch (but I Won't Eat That)"

Parody Written by:

Joshua T.

The Lyrics

I wrote this shortly after the song came out and have since seen it various places on the internet without crediting me. Why I want the distinction of being the author of a very silly parody, I don't know.
I Would Eat Anything For Lunch...(But I Won't Eat That.) By Olive Loaf

And I would eat anything for lunch
And I'd kill a man for just one snack!
And I would eat anything for lunch
Some SPAM or olives, green or black.
But, please don't give me that cheap fast food
Oh, no...no way!
Cause I would eat anything for lunch
I would eat anything for lunch
I would eat anything for lunch
but I won't eat that....
No I won't eat that!

And some days the burgers are greasy
And some days the buns are hard...
Some days there's no ketchup at all and
These are the days that never end!
And some days the fries are too salty
And some days they're under-spiced
And that mystery meat's like nothing I've
Seen before, or will again!!

And maybe I'm crazy, oooo, it's crazy and it's rude
But I'd rather die than try to eat that cheap-ass takeout food!
As long as the fryer is burnin'
As long as my stomach's turnin'
As long as they're moldy, old and blue...You better believe it!

That I would eat anything for lunch,
And you know it's true and that's a fact!
And I would eat any sweet for lunch,
With a blatant disregard for plaque!
But I'd never eat a twinkie cause they'll be around longer than me...
Oh, Gee!
And I would eat anything for lunch
But I won't eat that....
No I won't eat that!

I would eat anything for lunch
Anything you've got for me to munch
But I just won't eat that
I would eat anything for lunch
Anything you've got for me to munch
But I just won't eat that!

And some days it's meat on a bun, yeah
And some days it's soup in a bowl
Some day's it's bacon and lettuce and tomato wrapped in a kaiser roll!
And some days I chew it slowly
And some days I swallow it whole
Some days I just smear it around cause I've gone to far and I've lost control!

You know I'm not bony,
I'm portly as a manatee
Because you see there's only
Couple things that I refuse to eat...
As long as I've got my antacid
As long as my stomach stays placid
As long as it's not too tough to chew,
You better believe it--!

That I would eat anything for lunch
A banquet or a tiny snack!
And I would eat anything for lunch
Some Cheerios or sugar smacks!
But eating fish that hasn't been cooked is wrong...
so wrong!

And I would eat anything for lunch,
but I won't eat that,
No I won't eat that!
I would eat anything for lunch,
Anything you've got for me to munch,
But I just won't eat that...

And I'll never try eating Tofu
Any day of my life, no way!
Cause I would eat anything for lunch,
But I won't eat that...

CODA:
Girl:
Would you eat a pickle?
Would you eat some rice?
Do you think a bowl of chicken soup would be nice?
Would you eat it even if it was cold?

Boy:
Yeah, I would eat that!
I would eat that!

Girl:
Would you eat an apple?
Would you eat a pear?
Would you eat a roasted piece of a cow's derriere?
Would you even eat it three days old?

Boy:
I would eat that!
I would eat that!

Girl:
Could you make an omelet
with your own two hands?
Would you eat a rubber ducky or a rusty tin can?
Would you eat a box of styrofoam?

Boy:
I would eat that!
I would eat that!

Girl:
Would you eat from a skillet?
Would you eat from a pot?
Would it matter if you had a plate--or would it not--?
Would you eat the meat and chew on the bones?

Boy:
I would eat that!
I would eat that!

Girl:
Listen, my friend, I don't mean to annoy
But I know you and I know you're one hungry boy!
And you've eaten a twinkie before...

Boy:
I won't eat that!
I won't eat that!

Girl:
Listen my friend, I don't want to be rude,
But I know all about you and your food attitudes!
And you'd gobble up that cheap fast food...

Boy:
I won't eat that!
No, I won't eat that!
Anything for lunch
Oh, I would eat anything for lunch!
I would eat anything for lunch,
But I won't eat that...
I won't eat that....
http://www.kingdomofloathing.com

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jan Unwin - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job! If I had written it, I'd want to claim it too. 5-5-5
Arwen - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
This is GREAT! I've been wanting to parody this song for a while...but haven't come up with anything. EXCELLENT...5s!
Birgitta - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Cow's roasted derriere..blatant disregard for plaque..(holding my sides)-just love your choice of words in this! Fabulous!
Ashleigh - April 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I thought that it was parthetic and i just have one question and that is why on earth did you do it about food. And can i also say i love fast food and so dose everyonne elce i know. Meatloaf is my best singer i know so far.

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