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Song Parodies -> "I Would Do Anything When Drunk(But I Won't Do That"

Original Song Title:

"I Would Do Anything For Love(But I Won't Do That)"

Original Performer:

Meat Loaf

Parody Song Title:

"I Would Do Anything When Drunk(But I Won't Do That"

Parody Written by:

Dee Range

The Lyrics

I had to "Screw" around with this to make it family friendlier.
I WOULD "DO" ANYTHING WHEN DRUNK

Yes I would do anything when drunk
I've got low standards in the sack
Mother-in-law, your dog, some skunk
I'd even lay with some that oink or quack

But I'll always regret the way I feel right now
Oh no...no way...
'Cause I would "do" anything when drunk
But I won't do that...
Damn, did I do that?

And some lays are really greasy
And sometimes I don't get hard
Some lays I don't come at all
And those are the lays that never end

But her breath is putrid fire
Her panties are leakin' lice
Her thighs are like mountains I'll have to climb before
I take a spin

Last night is still hazy...how she got here I've no clue

A bad acid flashback, or a damn nightmare that has come true


But now it's my stomach that's churning
And why is my crotch now burning?
And how can I scream while puking too?
I just dont believe it

'Cause I would do anything when drunk
Yes I would do anything when drunk
Yes I would doanything when drunk
But I won't do that...
Damn, did I do that?

I would do anything when drunk
I look at her my manhood's shrunk
No way I could do that

I would do anything when drunk
One look at her turns men to monks
Oh damn, did I screw ...?

I think she's a freak of science
I look for my ten foot pole
Right now I just sit and watch her
Connect the dots between her moles

I must have been horny, and as blind drunk as you can be
Her sweet spot was thorny, and as I sit here bleeding I just weep

It seems like I'm never learning
Her smell keeps the flies returning
I hate when night-mares keep coming true..
.I just can't believe it

Yes I will do anything when drunk
When my balls are blue they all attract
I would do anything when drunk
Why the hell's my Johnson turning black?

But I've seen an Irish setter better lookin that you
That thong...so wrong
And I would do anything when drunk
I just can't believe how low I've sunk
I would do anything when drunk
But I won't do that, no no no
I won't do that

(The Girl) If I raise you up
Will you then go down?

Or are you like the others
Who are always skipping town?

Will you make sure you've got the right fold?


(Me) I can't do that!...No
I can't do that!

(Girl) Do you hate me because it's leprosy I've got?
Will you hose me down with toilet water if I smell like rot(rot)?
Will you shave me in places that I've never mown?

(Me) I can't do that! Noooo!
I can't do that

(Girl) Yes I'm a little gory...spesh'ly my mound
Give in to your lust and let's go to town
Come on and hurry, I'm due back at the pound

(Me) I won't ...do that...
(ME, climbing on) Guess I will do that

Anything for lust....
How could I do that?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   0
 2
 2
 
 5   27
 24
 25
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arwen - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Lots of funny lines, Dee...but "I look for my ten foot pole" was a highlight for me...=)
Yet Another Dutchman - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Can't really remember how this paces, but because I first thought this was written from Meat Loaf's perspective, I especially enjoyed the lines "Her thighs are like mountains I'll have to climb before I take a spin." It was really hard to imagine Meat Loaf doing the climb on someone bigger than him, but I managed to picture it.
Michael Pacholek - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
You sure didn't loaf around here. Five cups of black coffee. Yeah, I know, that'll just make him a wide-awake drunk. How about five B-12 shots?
Rick C - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Disgustingly, riotously Brilliant....555
alvin rhodes - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
disgustingly hilarious...especially the leakin' lice....5s
Red Ant - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Dee-skusting, and that's a compliment. Too many bad lines in here (j/k, they're great). 5s, and I submitted a parody for tomorrow called "Underground Sue", I'm sure you'd leave her alone.
Jeff Reuben - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Title got me laughing, the lyrics are brilliant! Perfect OS for this song.
MrMacphisto - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL... great idea, great parody... 5-5-5
stuart mcarthur - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
LMAO, Dee! I'm sensing a theme here - didn't you also regret sleeping with Bigfoot, and/or a hairy ape, and/or a skunk in the middle of the road? - your catalog is starting to paint a vivid picture of you in my mind - 555
Dee Range - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Arwen, YAD, Michael, Rick C, Alvin, Red Ant, Jeff. Mr.Macphisto, and Stu....Stu, doesn't this happen to all of us who let the little head do the thinking for the big head? I think it was George Carlin who once said..."I never have slept with a "10"...but I did wake up once with five "2"'s in my bed. Now that is a man whose honesty I can admire lol.
stuart mcarthur - October 13, 2005 - Report this comment
which one's the little head?
carol - October 16, 2005 - Report this comment
still laughing. this is good 555
Matthias - October 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow, I was going to do the same song... I guess gross minds think a like, 5's here Dee...
Josh 2 - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) dkots aint the the beingnng of this a bit sexual, lol, kinda funnyy544
Arwen - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM...still very VERY funny, Dee! I'm not sure if it's the Chinese food I had for dinner or what, though...I'm a little more grossed out this time around. I mean, lice? LICE!?!? ; )
Agrimorfee - November 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM)Gah-rosss! First time reading, pretty damned funny. Slashes into the pretensiousness of the OS in each line.
Adagio - November 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The more of the parody I read, the grosser it got. What stood out was the panties leaking lice....ewwww :)
Peter Andersson - November 19, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - More George Carlin (I think): If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Rick C - November 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) :-)
wannabemustangjockey - November 23, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - dirty as hell! You are sick....and that's what makes it so funny! Next time use protection (like a suit of armor and a flamethrower)
Red Ant - November 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I gave this a listen to the version on my Power Ballads Gold 2 set CD and some of the parody lyrics didn't track up right but I'm guessing this song has several versions due to length (ie a radio edit, etc). This is funnier than the first time I read it and is one of your best Dee.
Stuart McArthur - November 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) you are a crazy dude, Dee - but I think you're being a bit harsh coz she sounds like a veritable theme park to me - sex with her at night then play join-the-dots on her in the morning (you'd never have to leave home) - and it's all the funnier being set to this overwrought OS - it's about time you started cranking some more parodies out I reckon :-)
Johnny D - November 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) "Connect the dots between her moles" ... "Will you make sure you've got the right fold?" ... YIKES! 5s
Tim Mayfield - November 27, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - If this is the family friendlier version I would be sure not to have read the other version...
Phil Alexander - November 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought I commented on this one earlier (and I'm getting a sense of deja vu, here: all these parodies I keep thinking "I thought I'd left a comment... but obviously not"). Anyway, as a Meatloaf fan, I loved this one: I could really hear him singing it :-D
Scathe - November 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Sounds like you REALLY can't handle your liquor.
Kristof Robertson - November 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yet another I missed first time around. I'd say there were a lot of LOL moments here, but they were more like PJUOF (pick jaw up off floor)...this is truly the work of a scary mind, Dee...but I thoroughly enjoyed it. 555
Spaff.com - November 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Too bad about your Johnson, because you know what they say: Once it goes black...

I thought Luke was a sure bet for the gross-out award this month, but there's no competing with panty lice. Your screen name has never been more poignant. All I knew of the OS was the title line (there aren't many Meat Loaf songs I can listen to all the way through), so you owe me a drink for having to download and listen to this one. Then I'll buy a few drinks and we'll see what we can scrape up.

Anyhoo. Thanks for clarifying everything with your intro comment. Heh heh. And "I'm due back at the pound" is classic.
Claude Prez - November 29, 2005 - Report this comment
I read "some lays are really greasy" and thought it was about potato chips. It's, um, not. Great idea, horrifyingly well executed.
Ethan Mawyer - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) your Ten foot pole, huh? not buying it. otherwise I would've believed it was a true story
Dee Range - December 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Ethan, you must not have heard the expression "I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole"....you seem to be under the impression that I'm bragging that I HAVE a ten foot pole, which is not what was meant here, Besides, I just barely measure a foot. And by the way, it is a true story, except for the leprosy. She didn't have leprosy...I did :-). And many thanks to everyone in the SOTM who voted and commented. Always much appreciated.

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