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Song Parodies -> "I'd Do Anything for Lunch (But I Won't Chew That)"

Original Song Title:

"I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Meatloaf

Parody Song Title:

"I'd Do Anything for Lunch (But I Won't Chew That)"

Parody Written by:

Jeremy Otto

The Lyrics

And I would do anything for lunch, whether it be baked or fried in fat
And I would chew anything for brunch, I don't care if my tummy isn't flat

But I'll never forget the way you burned that souffle, oh no, no way
And I would do anything for lunch, but I won't chew that, I won't chew that
Anything for lunch, oh I would chew anything for lunch
I would chew anything for lunch, but I won't chew that, no I won't chew that

Some days I don't eat chickpeas, and some days I won't eat slaw
Some days I don't eat at all, and these are the days that never end
Some nights you're cooking chicken, and some nights you're frying rice
Some meals are like nothing I've ever seen before or will again

Maybe I'm hungry, my tummy's rumbling it is true
I know you may crave meat, I know that you've been craving veggies too

As long as the eggs are boiling, as long as the shrimp is broiling
Until I learn to cook meals for myself, you better believe it

That I would do anything for lunch, I'd settle for fries or a Big Mac
And I would do anything for brunch, like Ozzy I'd even eat a bat

But I'd never forgive myself if I didn't get dessert tonight
And I would do anything for lunch, oh I would do anything for lunch
Oh I would do anything for lunch, but I won't chew that, no I won't chew that

I would do anything for lunch, anything you've been cooking up,
But I just won't chew that
(repeat 3x)

Some days I crave for donuts, and some days I crave for ham
Some days just crave for smoked salmon but I'd settle for some spam
Some nights I lose my appetite, some nights I need Peptobismol
Some nights I just lose my lunch from one too many dinner rolls

Maybe I'm not picky, that's something I could never be
But I don't eat asparagus, it always makes you have green pee

As long as the bread is baking, as long as the milkshakes are shaking
As long as I never catch the flu, you better believe it

That I would do anything for lunch, and there ain't no need to raise a fuss
And I would do anything for brunch, and I'd even tip you seven bucks

But I'd never come back here if you didn't make the coffee strong, not strong
And I would do anything for lunch, oh I would do anything for lunch
I would do anything for lunch, but I won't chew that, no no no I won't chew that

I would do anything for lunch, anything you've been thinking of,
But I just won't chew that
(repeat 7x)

But I'll never stop eating cashews every night of my life, no way
And I would do anything for lunch, oh I would do anything for lunch
I would do anything for lunch, but I won't chew that, no I won't chew that

[Waitress]: Will you tip me well, will you smile when you're through?
Can you use your napkin when you finish your stew?
Can you ignore the fact your burger is cold?

[Diner]: I can do that! I can do that!

[Waitress]: Will you be polite? Will you treat me right?
Can you never come here drunk again and try to start a fight?
Can you mind your table manners a little bit more?

[Diner]: I can do that! Oh oh, now I can do that!

[Waitress]: Will you tell me jokes that are politically correct?
If I spill beer on you, will you not get upset?
Will you apologize if you should ever belch?

[Diner]: I can do that! Oh oh, now I can do that!

[Waitress]: Will you eat all your cabbage and your rice and beans?
If I overcook the steak will you not be mean?
Will you be the best diner that I've ever known?

[Diner]: I can do that! Oh oh, now I can do that!

[Waitress]: After I while you'll forget my name's Mary
You'll be complaining to my manager and being contrary
And you'll see that it's time to move on

[Diner] I won't do that! No I won't do that!

[Waitress]: I know the territory, I know the game
You think I'm not as cute as that other waitress Jane
And sooner or later you won't be chewing around (here)

[Diner] I won't do that! No I won't do that!

Anything for lunch, oh I would do anything for lunch
I would do anything for lunch, but I won't chew that, no I won't chew rat

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 2
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   5
 3
 1
 
 5   8
 10
 12
 

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