Isn't that "Priscilla" thing staring Agent Smith from The Matrix?

This must be the homogenized version. Well done! Tons of great lines.

ah, an OS of yours that I know Luke - altho I recall the Eurythmics version - great imagery, great pacing, and an Oscar for costume design - 555

See you at Mardi Gras next year? :-) 555

"Leath'ry hot pants? Cookin' there, dumpling!" was a truly inspired line, Luke. The question is...what was it inspired by? And yet another question arises...do I want to know what it was inspired by?

Charlie: Correct! Wouldn't you love to see him pop up with that enormous fabric outfit billowing out behind him and saying "Surprised to see me, Mr Anderson?"
Thanks Guy, Stuart and Kristof.

Emi, erm... to answer your first question, the line was inspired by numerous stereotypical catchphrases representing the homosexual male in recent media. To answer your second question, one would assume that inquiring about something infers that one wants to know the answer.
*gongggg*

Smartass.

Ooh, you're clever and cheeky!

And dependable, too. All the more reason that you should kiss me.

*considers*

Start suckling the end of this spaghetti strand my nonna cooked.
*begins suckling other end*

Hey, I am NOT a homophobe! I have NUMEROUS gay friends.
I went in DRAG to a formal with a lesbian fer cryin' out loud! See one of my more serious parodies here before you stamp my parody homophobic you OUT-OF-CONTEXT-BIGOT. http://www.whatfreaks.com/2000s/eminem9.shtml

If you haven't noticed, Queer Eye demeans hetero men as brainless slobs, but you don't see us getting offended cuz it's a parody in itself and people should be able to laugh at themselves. I've heard the term 'fag' used by the Queer Eye guys cuz they can laugh at themselves, too.

Ahem.
*descends from high-horse*
*re-inserts al-dente spaghetti strand*
*suckle suckle suckle*

Oh, right.

*catches loose end of spaghetti strand with fork and twirls obliviously*

*eyes closed...SMOOCH!*
Oh Emily, I never knew you had braces! Mmm, the cool metal feels so sensual on my tongue...
...
...
*painstaking opening of the eyes a la Stewie in Family Guy when he realises he has been suckling from his father's teat*

...Oh, fork.

For a minute there, I thought this was going to be about "neat freaks." I couldn't have been more off.

*confused* Well, I have correctional V-plate braces...but there's no spaghetti in THAT region...

Oh, shut up and kiss me!
*romantic lunge forward - cue silhouette against moon, glittering stars and Emi wondering why I'm making out with Michael Pacholek on the balcony*

*wonders why you're making out with Michael Pacholek on the balcony*

Why are you making out with Michael Pacholek on the balcony?

Emi's previous comment reminded me of this passage from Harvard Lampoon's parody of The Lord of The Rings, "Bored of The Rings":

"Welcome to Lornadoon," said Lavalier, rising slowly to her feet, and it seemed to the company that she was as fair as a young sapling or scrub oak. She had magnificent chestnut hair, and when she shook her head, handfuls of magnificent chestnuts dropped to the floor like rain. Frito toyed with the Ring and wondered at her great beauty. As he stood, as if in a trance, Lavalier turned to him and saw him toying with the Ring and wondering at her great beauty. "I see, Frito," she said, "that as you toy with the Ring, you wonder at my great beauty." Frito gasped. "Do not fear," she said, solemnly tweaking his nose. "Nasties we're not."

My friend 'other Luke' (I'm 'bad Luke') met up with a friend of his downtown whose baby needed changing. So they headed to the nearest pharmacy and whilst waiting in line to get talc powder, one of other-Luke's annoying female friends came in and made him model eyeliners for her in the mirror as they had similar skin tones and she wanted to see which one would look best. Other-Luke returns to the counter with about seven different coloured lines down his cheek and the pharmacy has no talc.

After finally finding getting some talc from a supermarket several blocks away, they discover that the male bathrooms have no change table (sexist society) and so they have to sneak his friend's wailing bundle of joy into the female bathroom.

THEN Other-Luke spends about fuve minutes trying to pull the top off the talc bottle and later found out it was a screw-on lid when the top burst off, showering his face and clothes in white powder. Washing it off with water, the makeup ran all down his face. His friend was meanwhile scraping handfuls of talc off the floor to powder the baby with.

A woman opened the door...


Anyhoo, I guess I'll just finish rehearsing this drama scene with Michael Pacholek, dear, and be back to bed for 'chest + nuts = *balconydoorlocked!*'

And I'll be busy writing up the script for the sequel: "Wedlocked! = Luke and Patchy Do San Francisco".

You have to see the final episode of Little Britain, Season 2. A Fine San Fran finale. (Note the ingenious incorporation of 'Fran Fine' in previous sentence.)

Come, Patchy. We Neat Queens will zhoosh-up Emi's aPALLing balcony out here.

Actually, I'd much rather watch Desperate Housewives and wish that my mother was having sexual relations with someone nearly as gorgeous as James Denton.

Yeah, inflatable Orlandos lack charm.

And included foot-pumps. The one for my ego isn't nearly big enough to fit in his hole.

The last episode of Little Britain was the best yet - the lines in the bar before he hoofs it to Frisco were classic: "since I've retired, I've discovered the joys of rimming"

will there be another season?

"sorry, computer says no...."

LOL Stu, I was going to quote all of the dastardly (heh heh, rhymes with 'custardly') lines but was *commonsensed*

Not big enough to fit your hole? Well, little lady, I think I can handle it.
*handles it*

Pumps und holes, ja?

OK, I get it! I want to have sex with my mother. Can we move on?

No.

*eyes Emi wanting to get in bed*
*eyes back to mother currently in bed*
*eyes to Emi wanting to get in bed*

*Dr Evil rasp:* This is awkward!

"Dad...what are you doing?"
"Em, why are you out of bed?"
"Where's Mom?"
"Your mother and I have something to discuss."
"Under the covers?"
"Yes."
"Wearing nothing?"
"Goodnight, Emi."
"...goodnight."

((I really, REALLY wish I was kidding when I say 'that conversation actually took place during my 2nd year of elementary school'.)) That conversation actually took place during my 2nd year of elementary school.

Hmm, I'm daring to ask what a 'family discussion' would involve...

Oh well, atleast we'll have something to look forward to in fifteen years' time:
"Dad...what are you doing?"
"Domino, why are you and your Siamese-triplet sisters Turquamarine and '&' out of bed?"
"Where's Muom?"
"Your muother and I have something to discuss."
"Inside your levitating sleeping capsule?"
"Yes."
"With an assortment of maple-glazed donuts, an Iron Maiden, an inflatable Orlando Bloom doll with a photo of Leo Jay's face sticky-taped on it and a Spanish/English dictionary?"
"Goodnight, Domino, Turquamarine and '&'."
"Fine, we'll just go sleep in Aunty Tibbygirl's kennel."

And while we're on the subject of mortifying primary school memories:

Dad and Stepmother-to-be about ten feet away, seperated only by a flimsy bamboo curtain: *assorted giggles, moans and whispers*
5th grade me, for an agonising 40 minutes: shutupshutupshutupsh utupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshut upshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup!!!

Pleasant.

((Groovy new trend, by the way.))

What, 40 minutes of flimsy-bamboo-related torture?

Isn't that what Cajun/Asians are in to? I prefer uncooked spaghetti.

I suppose...but most Cajun/Asians are particularly partial to anything involving wasabi, crawfish, or bound feet. I've never tried the flimsy bamboo method.

*lights dim, cue Spaff crooning his 'I Like To Play With Food'*

BA DA - BA!

SA...KA...TA...
*Asian-cuisine humour*

You mean like Joey Sakata from Star Trek: Voyager? You're right - I think I did see him on the menu at Tokyo Kitchen.

Before the waitress wiped him off.
*chirping giraffes extend their sick leave*

As long as we're still leaving comments about the actual parody, the hotel I was staying in, directly in Times Square, was hosting a drag queen convention/party on the 6th floor. My friends and I crashed it, wearing exquisite ball gowns and barely-there five o'clock shadows. Heck, if I can pass for a man in a dress, who knows what parody-subjects I could become inspired by.

Besides politics, food, and Avril Lavigne, of course.

Sounds like it should be renamed 'Fabulous Times Square'. And I laugh at the irony of wearing a 'ball gown'.

Well, I laugh at the irony of...um...Centrum Plus.

*giraffes die laughing*

Hey, it is funny, cuz we pronounce it "Complete from A to Zync."