Downed one last pint of beer and i boarded the plane,
touched down, doubled up with a bladder full,
and my stomach in tremendous pain!
W.C. Handy? There's not any to be seen.
Although i had a first class ticket, it seemed the loo was just never free!


Now i'm walking cross-legged,
walking with the pee dripping 'long the beal,
walking cross-legged,
Now i know the discomfort wetness feels!


Saw the ghost of Elvis, and he saw me strug'lin' too.
I followed him back to his graceland mansion,
and asked to use the loo.
Now security they would not let me,
they had cordoned off that tomb.
There's a desp'rate little thing, waiting for the king,
with little trouser room!


Walking cross-legged,
walking with the pee dripping 'long the beal,
walking cross-legged,
Now i know the discomfort wetness feels!


They got sprinklers on their front lawns,
they got fountains everywhere.
And i'm so relieved, to see public toilets,
but they all cost twenty pence...
...i haven't got a penny!!!


Now friends of mine work at the main bar,
every weekday at the "Lock and Key".
And i wobbled down to see them,
and i begged them to let me...
...do a wee number 1, and i pee'd with great delight.
They said sorry there ain't no paper and now i'm...
...desp-er-ate for a s***e!!!


Walking cross-legged,
walking with the pee dripping 'long the beal,
walking cross-legged,
Now i know the discomfort wetness feels!


Ohhh walking cross-legged,
walking with the pee dripping 'long the beal,
walking cross-legged,
Now i know the discomfort wetness feels!