Song Parodies -> Walking Through the HPER
| Original Song Title: | "Walking in Memphis" |
| Original Performer: | Marc Cohn |
| Parody Song Title: | "Walking Through the HPER" |
| Parody Written by: | Linus Pierce |
If you're going to have someone tell you you can't park somewhere when you can and get hit on by a gay guy in the locker room you might as well write a parody about it. HPER stands for Health, Physical Education and Recreation and is pronounced "Hyper."
Put on my swimming trunks
And I jumped in the pool
Dried off with a towel in the locker room
But the situation wasn't cool
He's so mamby-pamby
And he's looking right at me
He's got an extra towel
But he's queer as a boy can be
Walking through the HPER
Walking with my trunks dripping on the floor
Walking throught the HPER
Tell me how to get to the front door
Dried off and got dressed quickly
And I headed for the door
I really didn't want the towel
So I dropped it on the floor
Security won't see him
'Til the next time he comes in
He'll be waiting on his knees, waiting just for me
Down by the laundry bin
Walking through the HPER
Walking with my trunks dripping on the floor
Walking throught the HPER
Tell me how to get to the front door
They've got flamers in the weight room
They've got fagots in the pool
And if someone tells you you can't park there
Then he doesn't have a clue
That parking's free on weekends
Now there's more queers at the HPER
Than there are in Hollywood
And every time I see him
He asks me if I would
He said: "Are you a homo"?
And I ran with all my might
He said: "No I mean are you homesick"?
And I said: "Sir, I am tonight"
Walking through the HPER
Walking with my trunks dripping on the floor
Walking throught the HPER
Tell me how to get to the front door
Put on my swimming trunks
And I jumped in the pool
Dried off with a towel in the locker room
But the situation wasn't cool
And I jumped in the pool
Dried off with a towel in the locker room
But the situation wasn't cool
He's so mamby-pamby
And he's looking right at me
He's got an extra towel
But he's queer as a boy can be
Walking through the HPER
Walking with my trunks dripping on the floor
Walking throught the HPER
Tell me how to get to the front door
Dried off and got dressed quickly
And I headed for the door
I really didn't want the towel
So I dropped it on the floor
Security won't see him
'Til the next time he comes in
He'll be waiting on his knees, waiting just for me
Down by the laundry bin
Walking through the HPER
Walking with my trunks dripping on the floor
Walking throught the HPER
Tell me how to get to the front door
They've got flamers in the weight room
They've got fagots in the pool
And if someone tells you you can't park there
Then he doesn't have a clue
That parking's free on weekends
Now there's more queers at the HPER
Than there are in Hollywood
And every time I see him
He asks me if I would
He said: "Are you a homo"?
And I ran with all my might
He said: "No I mean are you homesick"?
And I said: "Sir, I am tonight"
Walking through the HPER
Walking with my trunks dripping on the floor
Walking throught the HPER
Tell me how to get to the front door
Put on my swimming trunks
And I jumped in the pool
Dried off with a towel in the locker room
But the situation wasn't cool
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This is view # 70
Marc Cohn album at Amazon.com
The Rainy Season album at Amazon.com
Burning the Daze album at Amazon.com
