Images of Stuart Pearce, Chris Waddle and Southgate
The US, Norway, Poland, San Marino
Who shall we choose as our star left-back?
(GRAHAM TAYLOR'S VOICE) "I'm thinking right now of yes, you, Barry Venison!"
Hoddle sacked, bashed bibles far too much
Gazza liked kebabs but he didn't like your discipline
Even Stuart Ripley won a cap for us
But he only made it as far as a wheelchair!

Sven - King Kev - Venables
All give us teams of vegetables
I love my great country
Even if we're represented by Emile bloody Heskey...

(Glenn Hoddle said): "You pay for your sins in a previous life"
(Kieron Dyer said): "I've just made my first home video, don't tell the wife"

Sinton, Palmer, we can't take any more
Sven says "I've just found a new midfield saviour"
Vital stats - he's good at FIFA 98
Nicky Butt always plays no matter if he's complete s***e

Seaman - gone - he got lobbed from 40 yards
Seeking a future career as the new Ron Jeremy
New keeper - David James - now plays Rotherham every week
He's the new Dracula, he's always scared of crosses

Sven - King Kev - Venables
All give us teams of vegetables
I love my great country
Even if we gave the world Eileen ****ing Drewery...

Beckham, the first to wear his wife's thong
What would they say if he smoked a fat bong?
Hooligans say: "I'd rather be you know what than a Turk"
Normal people say: "I'd rather get haemmorhoids than do the England boss's work"

Screw the Hand of God
Screw the Hand of God!
Someone needs to save us!
From nearly 40 years of footballing pooooooo........
(repeat "pooooo" to fade)