(spoken over bass guitar riff of "Hail To the Chief")
OK, I'm riding around in this limo with this Senator that I intern to a couple times a week. I'm noticing he's talking on of phone and b*tching about everything: "Taxes are horrible"; "Will the war ever end?", "What do we do about health care?"

I said, "Sir, what is the DEAL?! You're arguing about wanting to change things... maybe... you should be President."

He looks at me and he says, "I wish I was the President!"

Now, at that point, I wanted to say, "You mean 'you wish you WERE the President' because, grammatically..." But I let it slide; I didn't want Secret Service after me

But, y'know, that sentence, that retort, "I wish I was the President"...kinda stuck in the ol' intern's mind...kinda gestated there for...two or three terms...AND THIS TUNE POPPED OUT!

(music starts, singing)

I wish I was the President and not a Senator
I wouldn't have to mess with these committees I abhor
And all those stupid Congressmen and damned fil-i-bust-ers!
Ooooooo, I wish I was the President and not a Senator

I wish I was the President; you'd all do what I say!
I would do just what I want to; yeah, that'd be OK
If someone tried to stop me, I'd politely go, "No Way!"
Ooooooo, I wish I was the President; you'd all do what I say!
HEEEEEEY!

(musical bridge)

I wish I was the President; I wouldn't take no flack
I could choose whatever country that I wanted to attack
I'd blast away on North Korea, Iran and Iraq
Ooooooo, I wish I was the President; I wouldn't take no flack

I wish I was the President; I know it sounds obscene
But that'd give me the right to be harsh and mean
At least I ain't like Al Gore...OR THAT NOT HOWARD DEAN...(famous Dean scream)
I wish I was the President; I know it sounds obscene!
HEEEEEEY!

(musical bridge with spoken line:)
I dare the Supreme Court to overturn this!

I wish I was the President; it's crazy but it's true
But maybe folks'd listen to be and I'd listen to you
'Course, if I was the Presdient, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO!
I wish I was the President; it's crazy but it's true

Hey, I wish I was the President and not a Senator
I wouldn't have to mess with these committees I abhor
And all those stupid Congressmen and damned fil-i-bust-ers! (I hate those long filibusters!)
Ooooooo, I wish I was the President and not a Senator
I wish I was the President and not a Senator
I wish I was the President and not a Senator!
(longer Dean scream)