I always thought that our bartender was good
he even smuggled beer at the gates of my old school
now drinking's different, he's devoted to the health-hype
whenever he pours it in, I almost wanna cry

chorus:
oh, no, please not that again
want beer but get milk instead

and I can drive home late cause I'm void of alcohol
so there's the consequence: I am not drunk at all
my friends are frightened, they don't know what's going on
they can't deal with the smell of me now the rum has gone

chorus

oh, not so bad you say?
but we'll never grow quite used to child's Vermont
not when I'm staying sober, no

check this out:
I'm standing in the tavern, or these days the health bar!
I'm in a "beer kills" t-shirt with juiced carrots in my jar
oh, it looks as healthy as it ever gon' get
I pinch myself but my nightmare won't come to an end

no, no, no, no, not that again, yeah
I'm not going, I'm not going
I want beer but get milk instead
no not me, no, no, no, not beer, well
want beer but get, want beer but get
milk in- milk in- milk in- milk instead
whatcha gonna do, Lord, whatcha gonna do
when they pop the trend near you