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Song Parodies -> "Proud Not to Be an American"

Original Song Title:

"Proud to Be an American"

Original Performer:

Lee Greenwood

Parody Song Title:

"Proud Not to Be an American"

Parody Written by:

Tie Kerl

The Lyrics

I wrote this after I got back from Florida, where I was disgusted with the treatment Americans gave us. When we were eating at the Canadian restaurant in Epcot, our waiter tried to convince us that the potatoes were shipped in from the Yukon 0.o
If tomorrow America was gone,
No one or nothing was there
And it vanished from the face of the earth
Would Canada really care?

We don't live in igloos
And I don't eat moose fat
And we're the second largest country in the world
And we always stand by that!

And I'm proud not to be an American,
'Cause Canada's where we're free
We've got good music and we've got cool clothes
And we've got Time Horton's coffee

And though you may think we're a joke
A few hockey players disagree with you
We'll toss you up and beat you down
And the score will be 5 to 2

We've got the highest tides in the world
We've got Mike Myers and Jim Carrey
We've got Gary Beals and we had Ernie Combs
And we've got lots of ghosts and faeries!

We spell it Colour and we say it Zed
And we've got less murders and cons
Every child knows our anthem in English and French

And I'm proud not to be an American,
'Cause Canada's where we're free
We've got good music and we've got cool clothes
And we've got Time Horton's coffee

And though you may think we're a joke
A few hockey players disagree with you
We'll toss you up and beat you down
And the score will be 5 to 2

Some say Canadians are just plain stupid
Some say we don't have anything to say
But we kicked your ass in Salt Lake City
So we can't be that meek, eh?

If you're diabetic, we saved your life
And the snowmobile was invented here
Winnie the Pooh is our damn bear
And we've got world famous beer!

And I'm proud not to be an American,
'Cause Canada's where we're free
We've got good music and we've got cool clothes
And we've got Time Horton's coffee

And though you may think we're a joke
A few hockey players disagree with you
We'll toss you up and beat you down
And the score will be 5 to 2

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   2
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Guy - October 31, 2003 - Report this comment
Unless you were making it known that you were a Canadian most Americans would not have a clue that you were. It is your right to hate us if you want to. You do not say what kind of treatment you received at the hands of these 'Americans', but don't feel so all alone, lots of 'service' based businesses treat everyone like this. And I fail to realize why you would, of all things, travel the entire length of the US from North to South and then eat in a Canadian restaurant. You could have stayed home, saved your money and just went to a local restaurant. I have lived overseas and have always immersed myself in the host countries cultures. I figured there was plenty of time to enjoy American things when I returned home. And yes I sometimes got ugly treatment from the locals but I never judged the entire country on these isolated incidents. I am abstaining from voting on your song since it is of an ugly nature and this song deserves no votes at all, but if I were voting you would get the following:

5 for pace
1 for funny
2 for overall, but only because pace was a 5.
Claude Prez - October 31, 2003 - Report this comment
"We can't be that meek, eh?" That was pretty funny (mostly cause it made me think of them Mackenzie brothers, eh?) Take off hoser
Guy - October 31, 2003 - Report this comment
Oh yeah - One more thing, what that waiter told you about the Yukon --- Potatoes, Potahtoes.
Diva - October 31, 2003 - Report this comment
I'm so sorry you'd had a bad experiance. Please do not judge all Americans by the acts of a few. We like tourists in Florida! This was an unfortunate circumstance.
Michael Pacholek - October 31, 2003 - Report this comment
Let's see: Second largest country in the world, four-fifths of which is uninhabitable. TIME Horton's coffee? With all due respect to one of the greatest "defencemen" ever, Dunkin' Donuts does it better (though Frank Lockner may want to speak up for Krispy Kreme). Highest tides? Unless you can surf 'em, so what? Mike Myers is funny, but Jim Carrey is the Steve Martin of his generation, and Steve wasn't funny until "Planes Trains & Automobiles" -- though John Candy was great in that. I had to look up Beals and Combs, and Canada's Clay Aiken and Mr. Rogers wouldn't register here. The sword-and-cross metaphor in the French version of the Anthem brings to mind thoughts of "conservative" "Christians" here. (Rest in peace, Roger Doucet.) Oh yeah, and here in New Jersey, we have a hockey player named Paul Martin. He won't ever be Prime Minister (he's from Minnesota), but he just might get his name on the Stanley Cup (he wasn't with the big club last season). And when was the last time a Canadian team won the Cup? 1993, since Quebec is still in Canada (otherwise 1990).
Michael Pacholek - October 31, 2003 - Report this comment
Having said that, at least you've got a freely elected government, and in your last election, you knew who won in 36 SECONDS, not 36 DAYS. Gotta love a country were 70 percent of the legislative branch is left of center, and the right is too divided to amount to anything more than a few laughs. Go get 'em, Big Jean!
John Jenkins - October 31, 2003 - Report this comment
I think some of us might have been a little hard on TK. After all, it's just a PARODY and we Americans do have senses of humor. Isn't the target of many of our parodies the quirky elements of American life that could probably be improved upon. Also, some of his points about Canadian beer, ice hockey players, and other celebrities were well taken.

On the other hand, TK, if your worst experience in the U.S. was some waiter talking smack about Canadian potatoes, then you have had it pretty easy. In addition to the Canadians you named, I will give you Mike Weir, who won this year's Master's golf tournament. But he, like most of the other names on your list, now makes his home in the U.S. Can we conclude anything from that? Also, how does Canada claim Winnie the Pooh, who was created in England by A.A. Milne?
Guy - October 31, 2003 - Report this comment
JJ - the parody did not spark the comment I made. It was the comments made by the author in the author's comment section. I find it prejudicial to judge all Americans on the actions of a few. People of every nation on earth have the right to blow their own horns. Perhaps if the comment was not made then I would have thought the parody was funny but the comment showed the underlying disdain behind the writing. Sorry, I still think it was ugly and prejudicial.
Smurf - November 01, 2003 - Report this comment
Have to agree that T.K. was being very judgemental of the entire U.S based upon only one supposed lying waiter over a potatoe...hmmm..sounds pretty trivial if you ask me. I am also a Canadian and been around in the U.S many, many times. Yeah, I had I think one bad experience where an African American called me a white bitch in traffic, but I never blamed the whole U.S for the rude remarks of one guy. My hubby went to school in Media, Pennsylvania and I visited him there often and we loved our stay there and wished we could move there.
Michael Pacholek - November 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Finally, someone who doesn't blame the Media.
Cerasi - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I agree with you, even though I am American myself. You guys do cool stuff up in Canada, and all we do is go and nuke other countries. -.-; Any, great song! =)
JOE AMERICAN - February 22, 2004 - Report this comment
All I can say is....I'M PROUD I'M NOT CANADIAN!
audrey marie burbidge - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
i'm am really glad i'm an american
Trump 2020 - August 28, 2020 - Report this comment
Honestly as a daughter and grand daughter and great grand daughter of U.S Veterans I find this insulting and you wrote this song over some potatoes. That sounds really petty.

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