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Song Parodies -> "I Ken Every Word"

Original Song Title:

"I've Been Everywhere"

Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"I Ken Every Word"

Parody Written by:

Puto

The Lyrics

Based on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ov4epAJRPMw

This goes out to John A. Barry, who, unlike me, probably could have written this over his lunch break without the use of any reference books...
I was loathin' my claque and longed for fustic finished bluff abodes
Pennin' songs aimed t' trend high with some chyme in manna-smothered folds
If you're goin' to win a chuckled laugh, indeed you must chide
The jokes must gibe until they stab and bend the nettled knouts espied
Freaks asked me if a quean would gird my robust bludgeoned hand
And I said, "Listen, I'll gabble every word I understand"

I ken every word, man
I ken every verb, man
Scoffed but unperturbed, man
I wheeze the countless surds, man
At Scrabble I'm so superb, man
I ken every word

I'm hep to:
Chino, farrago, argot, mariposa
Bungalow, soprano, wimple, ponderosa
Vichyssoise, sulfa, tropopause, papilloma
Gambol, analog, usquebaugh, melanoma
Rancor, carnivore, albacore, armadillo
Peccadillo, cascarilla, and cedilla, rhymes just billow

I pen every word, man
I pen every verb, man
Bosk distresses nerds, man
I heap the mounds of curds, man
Untrammeled, I seem absurd, man
I ken every word

I'm hep to:
Nostrum, quarr'lsome, natron, extravaganza
Laudanum, gruesome, gingham, propaganda
Lingerie, dossier, sobriquet, involution
Fetlock, padlock, alpenstock, convolution
Repartee to parody wannabe irritates
Mandrake, kittiwake, undertake to peen strakes

I blend every word, man
I blend every verb, man
Josh with better verse, man
I cheese the groundsel curse, man
With prattle I intersperse, man
I ken every word

I'm hep to:
Codicil, hornbill, hawkbill, ocarina
Imbecile, daffodil, domicile, margarita
Pastille, bastille, cochineal, freeboard
Haversack, hackmatack, amphibrach, sagamore
Vertigo, indigo, semolina, spy a catena
Philopena, cavatina, see what I yean-a

I lend every word, man
I lend every verb, man
Fosse 'round jester's perch, man
I tweak the frouncin' search, man
Unrattled, I'm not besmirched, man
I ken every word

I'm hep to:
Stillbirth, dramaturge, demiurge, avocado
Sepulture, cockspur, cocksure, ostinato
Battledore, encore, overawe, hippocampus
Stanchion, dispassion, assassin, apparatus
Catechu, parvenu, hullabaloo, eremitic
Doohickey, cenobitic, shoplifting, what a ditty

I ken every word, man
I ken every verb, man
Lost to sinecure, man
I speak to dowagers, man
Unsaddled, I add my blurbs, man
I ken every word

...I.....................
......ken................
...........every.........
..................word...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   6
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jonathan Spurlock - March 27, 2019 - Report this comment
I like the nod to the "Braid Scots" dialect, hither and yon in this work. 'Tis hoot, mon!
Agrimorfee - March 27, 2019 - Report this comment
holy f***ing cow, Puto. Randomly Generated Security Code: EEP.
JAB - March 27, 2019 - Report this comment
Must be Kismet, Puto. Just happened to check in today and saw this. First, thanks for the shout-out. Second, no way could I have done this over a lunch break. This is great work. Congrats!!
Puto - March 27, 2019 - Report this comment
Thanks, guys! JAB, you should liven up the site by posting some more!
2Eagle - March 27, 2019 - Report this comment
5 avocados. The security code fits - vv8.
Rand - March 28, 2019 - Report this comment
Spectacular!

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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