If God was gay
I'd be in trouble
Because I spend every day
Hurling fire and brimstone from my pulpit in Kansas
And condemning people to the awful Inferno

And yeah, yeah, God hates f-gs
Yeah, yeah, God hates Jews
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

What if God was one of us
Spewing hate like one of us
Crossing Kansas in a bus
Trying to spread outrageous words

If God was a Yank
I'd be in trouble
'Cause I spend every day
Condemning these United F-g States of Sodom
That's what I call 'em

And yeah, yeah, God hates blacks
Yeah, yeah, God hates you!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Spewing hate like one of us
Crossing Kansas in a bus
Trying to spread outrageous words
Trying to spread outrageous words
But everyone thinks I'm a turd
All that I say is so absurd
And did I mention God hates Kurds?

And yeah, yeah, God hates Japan
Yeah, yeah, Canada too
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And what if God was one of us
Spewing hate like one of us?
Crossing Kansas in a bus?
Trying to spread outrageous words
Nobody's listening but the birds
'Cause all's I say is just absurd
And did I mention God hates nerds?
And everyone who lives in Lourdes
He hates the Beatles and the Byrds
And every cowboy that herds