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Song Parodies -> "Morons"

Original Song Title:

"Big Shoes"

Original Performer:

Jill Sobule

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Starlette Victory

The Lyrics

This is about my experience with getting-or rather, *not getting*-my report card in the mail this semester. I have a profound report card phobia anyway, but it's worse when I'm having to stalk my mailman every day begging, "Did the damn thing come? Is it here yet?" and wait in fear of its impending arrival. This year, my school's report cards were lost and my mother had to drag my brothers and I to the school board headquarters to pick up our report cards, after six weeks of irate phone calls ("Where are my kids' grades?!") My friends and I didn't really send hate mail to the school board, of course, but it's a nice thing to imagine when they keep you waiting for your grades in utter torment.
Well, they thought I was joking
They chose my school to thwart
I tried to hide when we took the drive
To get those reports
The paper made my face turn blue
I stood there shaking in my shoes
But what could I do?
I guess they found it funny

Back in ninth grade I still had straight A's
But report cards made me whine
But it's worse when they're mailed out
And then I don't get mine

Morons, their minds aren't too big
Morons I'll never forgive
Those morons lost our report cards

Sophomore year, Summer came
Our parents were all outraged
Irate phone calls, voicemail to match
Our desperate wails
Heavy-footed on the walk
The mailman and I would talk
And my death threats
To the school board would make him kind of tense

Kiri Dew, they lost hers too
She sent mass hate mail
By the time her report card came
She was paying bail

Morons, everyday
Some kids still don't even have theirs today
Outside you hear us say
God, they're morons!

And when mom finally went to headquarters
On the shelves I looked in horror
On display were screwed-up registration forms
God, they're morons
Morons are running our schools
Brain cells are so miniscule
We should drown them all at the swimming pool
God, they're morons!
Morons, everyday
Some kids still don't even have theirs today
Outside you can hear us say
God, they're morons!

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