Rain, rain on my face
Waking up in some strange place
Buzzing in my head
Feels like my body's made from lead

Well, went to a bar yesterday at eight
Hope the wife's not mad when I get home late
Ouch! The light! Can't see but it hurts my brain
Hurts my-oww, ohh...

(Hurts my brain) I feel like I'm dying
(Hurts my brain) I'm weak and I'm crying
(Hurts my brain) please God would you kill me
(Hurts my brain) so I won't have to face the wife...

Mouth covered in foam
Last thing I remember, I left to go home
But now I'm in the city
And the girl next to me, she ain't looking so pretty

I guess I passed out after twenty beers
This is reminiscent of my worst fears
Waking up hung over, next to some fat chick
Wake me up...ohhhh...

(Wake me up) tell me it's a dream
(Wake me up) please tell me it's not as it seems
(Wake me up) she's starting to stir
(Wake me up) don't think I'll want to talk to her

I guess I bettter head towards home
But I feel pretty funky
And I start to wonder why I'm holding
A dead spider monkey

So I run away and I call a cab
Soon I'll send my sperm sample to a lab
To get tested for AIDS or syphilis
or Ebola

(From now on) I'm gonna quit drinking
(From now on) I won't come home stinking of booze
(From now on) No really, I promise
(From now on) I'll even call AA again...