You and me, we are from different times
You like to eat matza, I like to eat pork rinds.
I think you're crazy, and you wonder why
I'm such a gentile, I'm not a Jewish guy
Is there something I can do?
I've been looking for a Jew like you.

You look at me and you start to say "Oy, vey!"
I'm gonna learn Hebrew, maybe then I'll get my way
I won't sin, not at all
You say you wanna love me, but I have to wear a shawl.
Is there something I can do?
I only wanna be a Jew.
You can call me at schul,
I only wanna be a Jew.

Put on a little yarmulke, and phylacteries
I'll pray to Yahweh and I'll ask him, "Pretty please, God."
Say I want to be a Jew, want to make my spirit new.
And if He said that I could, well, then, little girl, could I marry you?
Well, I'm hoping that I do
('cause) I only wanna be a Jew.
Ain't Hebrew so cool,
I only wanna be a Jew.

(Guitar Solo)

Yeah, I'm so verklept with you,
I only wanna be a Jew.
You can call me at schul,
I only wanna be a Jew.

Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever be
You get so mad at me when I eat some pork and beans.
I think you're crazy, and you wonder why
I'm such a gentile, I'm not a Jewish guy
Is there something I can do?
I only wanna be a Jew.
You can call me at schul,
I only wanna be a Jew.

Yeah, I'm so verklept with you,
I only wanna be a Jew.
I only wanna be a Jew. (3x)