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Song Parodies -> "Jesus He Owes Me"

Original Song Title:

"Jesus He Knows Me"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Jesus He Owes Me"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

*Jesus Christ Super Star*
You see that guy go save drag queens
He's always in church on Sunday
You see him re-read the bible
That man owes me

On the cover of LIFE magazine
And his stack of fan mail's piling
Hangs in a resort of paradise
He hangs 10 with me

He'll get me everything I wanted
He'll buy me a free buffet to eat
Don't need to work to get to hereafter
Yes, it's blasphemy

Cause Jesus he owes me
I gave fame to that guy
I've been make him famous half my life
Oh yes he owes me
And my future's bright
Because of my time machine
Everything is all right

I can sleep during homilies
Or make love to my wife beside me
And he's dating Mary Magdalen
Just a man she met last night

This is the Son of God
On reality television
It's called Survivor Heaven
On prime time tonight

He's got more fame than Mickey Mouse
And even more than Cher
You don't even have to change the channel
Because he's everywhere

And Jesus he owes me
I gave fame to that guy
I've been make him famous half my life
Oh yes he owes me
And my future's bright
Because of my time machine
Everything is all right

You'll find me partying while he's preaching
You'll find me off rolling the dice
Cause he owes me a walletful of miracles
Cameo on Fatherhood, Friday nights
He will go take his debut
Just hope it's not for an ad for shampoo

I'm counting the blasphemes
I've found him famousness
You get the picture?
I'm getting paid
We already got the Ritz booked
He'll be making some wine from water
Paparazzi won't get him the way they want
He's in the tabloids anyway

You'll think I've gone out of my mind
But you'll soon believe what I'm saying
Cause if you want to get an autograph
Get out a sharpie and start paying

Cause Jesus he owes me
I gave fame to that guy
I've been make him famous half my life
Oh yes he owes me
And my future's bright
Because of my time machine
Everything is all right, all right

Jesus he owes me
Jesus he owes me, he owes

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

raddog20002002 - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Great choice for a parody! How about seeing my parody of "Jesus He Knows Me."
Mark Scotti - June 16, 2010 - Report this comment
ABC - "Jesus....." that was a great one! No 666, only 555!!!
Abbott Skelding - June 16, 2010 - Report this comment
ABC: I love the story for this song, and a great OS to do the parody of. Excellent work!
Agrimorfee - July 02, 2010 - Report this comment
This didn't grab me all that much. I think because it's not too far removed from the OS satirical point of view.
Andria - July 02, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC I & J) As something less than a fan of organized religion, I'm not too big a fan of the subject, or at least of people's inflated, heavily opinionated views of Him, but the satirical value definitely counts. I'm with Ag on it being a little close for comfort to the OS, and here are the numbers: 5-3-4.
Christie Marie M - July 02, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC I/J) Great work, Matt. Great use of OS. Seems to me that I owe Jesus a lot more since he's helped me through rough spots. Blessing and baptizing you with 5's! In the Philippines, my mom went to a school raised by nuns. Your parody is great but I got to make sure not to sing this kind of song in front of Catholic Filipino as well because they take religion seriously.
bobpiecheese - July 04, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC-IJ) Well, I have no idea what just happened. This parody just completely confuzzled me, maybe it was the wording, maybe it was the opening comment, I don't know. But I just have no idea what this parody was trying to say. But that's my fault, not yours.
Below Average Dave - July 04, 2010 - Report this comment
I liked the way you used the original Matty.. .but I have to be honest this one just confused the heck out of me. . .I mean, the original sounds and plays like a satire of religion to begin with, so it didn't seem like much of a switch. . .I don't know Matty, I didn't really like this one. . .just being honest. . .hope you understand, I am not a big supporter of organized religion, but I just didn't really get where this one was going like I did with Blasphemian Rhapsody
Christie Marie M - January 11, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC Tournament) Glory hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Great to read this one again, Matt. 555.
DJ Blaze - January 23, 2011 - Report this comment
I agree with Dave on this one... I take my religion seriously, but this was a good parody, albeit a little confusing.

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