I stepped up to bat.
Didn't know where I was at,
When the pitcher threw the baseball.
Then I fell to my knees,
And started to scream.
I was the last one,
You thought you'd see fall.
It was like a surprise,
With the tears in my eyes,
When I took that baseball in the nut.
We called 911,
People thought that was fun,
I wish I was hit in the butt.

Cause I got hit in low places,
Makes me scream really high,
And make funny faces,
Like some guy who's gay,
But I'll be okay. {Ow!}
I would rather be hit in other places,
Think I'll faint on down to a huge oasis.
Oh, I got hit in low places.

Well, I just took a base,
Walking at a slow place.
Looking like Cornelius the Ape.
I yelled "I am all right,"
Then the ball knocked out my lights,
As Bobby ran over me to get to second base.
Hey, I didn't mean,
To cause a big scene,
Just give me an hour or ten.
Well, I'll be all right,
As that pitcher's mound,
You're standin' in.

Cause I got hit in low places,
Makes me scream really high,
And make funny faces,
Like some guy who's gay,
But I'll be okay. {Ow!}
I would rather be hit in other places,
Think I'll faint on down to a huge oasis.
Oh, I got hit in low places.

I guess I was wrong,
I just belong,
But then, I've been hit there before.
The ball puts me in flight,
As I scream out "Goodnight!"
And I'll show myself to the floor.
I didn't mean,
To cause a big scene.
Just wait until I make the pass.
Then cheerleader ladies,
I'll head back to the dug-out.
'Cause you can kiss my ass.