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Song Parodies -> "John Kerry is Evil"

Original Song Title:

"I Think I'm Paranoid"

Original Performer:

Garbage

Parody Song Title:

"John Kerry is Evil"

Parody Written by:

Billy Slim

The Lyrics

Now, this is the first parody I had ever written where I'm being mean. And I love it! B-) John Kerry will be the worst choice for President and I'm not just saying this because I'm opposed to him. It's the damn truth! He'll ruin this country, more than it already is. God, I'm such a hippy at heart.
(verse one):
Please don't shout, I hear you fine
when you speak you cross the line
Heaven knows what you are out for
oh, just walk on out that damn door
John Kerry is evil
a complicator
John Kerry is evil
manipulator

(chorus):
Just walk away
while you still have the chance
You'll send us to hell
Just walk away
you'll do just fine in France
They'll think hell is swell

(verse two):
Your conventions are as big a thrill
like a suppository pill
Failing is what you do deserve
our dignity needs to be preserved
John Kerry is evil
a complicator
John Kerry is evil
manipulator

(chorus):
Just walk away
while you still have the chance
You'll send us to hell
Just walk away
you'll do just fine in France
They'll think hell is swell

Is evil
John Kerry is evil

(chorus):
Just walk away
while you still have the chance
You'll send us to hell
Just walk away
you'll do just fine in France
They'll think hell is swell

(bridge):
Save us from your stupid frame of mind, man
Is psychiatric help out the door, man?
President is not the job for you, man
You remind me of vomit, that's bad, man

(outro):
Just walk away
while you still have the chance
It looks like you're a nazi or a commie(2x's)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 2.0
Overall Rating: 1.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 3
 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 1
 
 5   2
 1
 0
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I wouldn't say he's evil, but you've got some good lines
John "Dr. Evil" Kerry - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
(holding little pinkie-finger up to the side of his basset-hound mouth) "Let me see.....John Edwards?......Wesley Clark?.......Hmmm, who shall I choose to be my Mini-Me? Mr. Bigglesworth, do you have any suggestions?"
Your Worst Nightmare - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
"We killed people, raped women, and burned down villages." That is Kerry's background, according to his fellow soldiers. You are right, our country is in a rut, but if he gets elected, it'll be worse.
White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Texas Oil Men - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Killing people? Raping women? Burning down villages? Heck, that's nothin' compared to what we do to anybody who comes along with a safe and economical substitute for fossil fuels! Don't worry America, the fix is in --- Dubya will be re-elected, and we, his puppet-masters, will continue business as usual. So shut up, sit down in front of your High-Definition TV's, and vote on American Idol.........but if you ever dare to speak up and ask "Who really owns what in America?", we'll brand you as a communist and a terrorist and an out-of-touch-with-mainstream-America-liberal......or maybe we'll just tweak the stock market a little bit here and there to punish the working classes and convince them that they should vote for OUR candidate.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
WASPTOM, you are scaring me. You are casting Bush as an evil puppet-master that manipulates the people, when that is not right at all. And if you ask, "Who owns what in America?", then chances are, you are a conservative, seeing as conservatives believe in less intrusive government, and liberals believe in big government. The government seems to own everything nowadays, even though that is none of their business.
Your Best Dream - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Nightmare: Kerry killed people because if he hadn't they would have killed him. That's what a war is. Kerry raped women? Which specific 'fellow soldiers" accused him of this? Do you have their names, or any dates on which these statements were made? Any specific references whatsoever? Sometimes decent people are lumped in with violent fools because the two are in the same place at the same time with the former outnumbering the latter. But that concept is apparently too complex for you narrow field of vision.
Jimmy Carter's Navy Buddy - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Jimmy Carter is more evil. He hollowed out torpedos to build satanic shrines.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Gasp! My archrival that I had no idea was even existent until this very moment is here! Sorry, I misquoted. Not "killed", but tortured. David Wallace, another Swifty, said he never saw the alleged American atrocities, though he served in Vietnam much longer than Sen. Kerry. "He told everyone I knew and everyone I'd ever known that I and my comrades had committed unspeakable atrocities. We'd tortured people, raped women, burned villages without any reason, that sort of thing. He never let up on that.... Now he's parading around in a Navy jacket with patches all over it. Well, I was in Vietnam three times longer than the senator—I haven't seen anybody wear a flight jacket in 90-degree weather." http://www.worldmag.com/world/issue/05-15-04/national_2.asp
Michael Pacholek - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
All ones, and I don't give a damn who knows I voted that way. John Kerry is 10 times the man Georgie Bush is. Hell, Teresa Kerry is five times the woman Bush is. (With apologies to Bill Maher.) The irony is, the vast right-wing conspiracy DOESN'T believe in capitalism. If they did, they'd make it possible for MORE people to participate in the capitalist system, rather than LESS people, which is what we have under the Midland Moron. In other words, if you want healthy capitalism, you need a little socialism; if you want to live like the Republicans, vote for the Democrats. Worst: Bush is NOT a puppetmaster. He is the puppet. Cheney, Rumsfeld, Ashcroft and Murdoch are the puppetmasters. And since when do conservatives believe in less intrusive government? Ever hear of A. Mitchell Palmer? J. Edgar Hoover? Joe McCarthy? Richard Nixon? John Mitchell? Ed Meese? John Freakin' Ashcroft? It's the liberals who believe in LESS intrusive government. And the only evil thing about Jimmy Carter is that he roots for the Atlanta Braves.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Just because somebody claims to be a republican, doesn't mean he IS a republican. Arnold Schwarzeneigger, however that is spelled, is a liberal. Where did you get the idea that liberals believe in less intrusive government? But I guess I shouldn't get into an argument about what party believes in what, and be glad you agree with me on that matter. As for the "puppetmasters", although they advise Bush on what to do, he makes the final decision, whether based on what they say or not.
Spaff.com - May 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I remember talking to a guy on election night 1992 who was utterly convinced that if Bill Clinton won, then all hell would (literally) break loose. Really. That Armageddon would come. Unfortunately, none of that cool apocalyptic stuff happened. Instead, we got eight years of great comedy material, and a scandal that - compared to what the US is dealing with now - seems quaint. Ah, the good old days.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 25, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL! Bill Clinton is the antichrist! That cracks me up! Especially that I'm reading the Left Behind series, which I don't agree with, but nevertheless read, because I used to agree with it, and I can't stop.
Your Worst Nightmare - May 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I think I can have some fun with this subject. Al Gore is the false prophet, Monica Lewinsky is the harlot of Babylon, and...what about Ken Starr? lol
Your Worst Nightmare - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
And George W. Bush represents Jesus Christ who ended the evillll reign of Bill Clinton/AntiChrist/Satan! Actually, I do think I've heard somewhere that there are groups of people that believe Bill Clinton is the antichrist. I think I'd sooner put my money on Hillary, though... lol
Your Worst Nightmare - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Let me apologize for presenting Kerry in that manner. I had misread the article, which said Kerry lied about a group of people, saying they tortured people, raped women, etc. But while, I'm here, let me talk about Kerry. Let's take gay marriages. He says that he does not personally believe in gay marriages and that he believes it is breaking a sacred union, however, he also says that me must appeal to their rights. He also called the "Defense of Marriage" program unconstitutional, then later said he made a mistake saying that, and right after that saying he was opposed to it. Translation: "I am against gay marriages, but if the majority wants them, I'm ready to change my opinion!" He also had voted against Bush's plan to liberate Iraq. " "I voted against that $87 billion in Washington yesterday, but let me make it clear, I am for winning the war in Iraq." Translation: "Although I don't want to restore Iraq, in truth, I actually want to restore Iraq." People might want to ask themselves what Kerry doesn't believe in, instead of what he does. In other politics, Al Sharpton attacked Howard Dean for not having any African-Americans in his administration.
what the....? - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
ohh geeze.....not the flip flop stories again? Sounds like you watch Fox news every night. Would you rather have some bully who is out to beat everyone up and ignores the terrorist who bombed us (where is osama now?) or someone who can change their mind based on more evidence when it is presented. Who are we going to liberate next? We need to keep the military busy so our economy can stay strong? Don't support the bully!
Geogie - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Geez, you guys really take the heart to song... hang on, *nervous/embarassed laugh*, take the song to heart. It fits well, it sounds good and it's funny, so there are no flaws in it if you ask me! Not that any of you are but still... Even if the author of the parody thinkKerry is evil, who cares? Every one has the right to their own opinion, as do you, so argue somewhere else and just say whether you like the song or not!!!!!!!
Georgie - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
God, above comment is mine, I just momentarily lost all sanity and forgot both how to type, and to spell my name. It's right now... Still love the song!

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