Well, I never thought I'd eat cats
Well, I guess you live and learn
That when you eat Chinese food, you're bound to get burned
I've eaten chow mein, I've heard all the lore
I know it's made with felines still I come back for more

But I say I won't eat no more, it causes stomach pain
I'm lying to myself 'cause I'll eat it again
Give me an order of kung Pao Chicken
Then give me five more

Chorus:
But waiter, don't feed me cats
or even dogs, pigeons or maybe even rats
Waiter, don't feed me cats
You can serve anything, just don't feed me cats
Oh, don't feed me cats

I know about your ingredients, but I eat here anyway
This place is the reason I couldn't find my cat when it ran away
It causes heartburn and gives me stomach pains
And it's hard to believe that what you charge I pay.

But I say I won't eat no more, it causes stomach pain
I'm lying to myself 'cause I'll eat it again
Give me an order of kung Pao Chicken
Then give me five more

Chorus:
But waiter, don't feed me cats
or even dogs, pigeons or maybe even rats
Waiter, don't feed me cats
You can serve anything, just don't feed me cats
Oh, don't feed me cats

Oh waiter, I won't eat any more, oh yeah now listen to me

Chorus:
But waiter, don't feed me cats
or even dogs, pigeons or maybe even rats
Waiter, don't feed me cats
You can serve anything, just don't feed me cats
Oh, don't feed me cats