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Song Parodies -> "Alex"

Original Song Title:

"Stan"

Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"Alex"

Parody Written by:

Anonymous

The Lyrics

Chorus:
My hands gone cold i'm wondering why I..
am writing this at all
the money I earn greens up my ego...
and I can't think of nothing else
and even if I did it would all be red,
but your picture on my wall
it reminds me, that its not so bad,
its not so bad.

Dear Coney,
I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cel, my page, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent you two letters last month, you must no-a got em
There must have been a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I forget where I am, Seattle, Texas, who knows?
but anyways; screw it, whats been up? man how's your arm?
My arm is pretty good too, I'm a pretty damn good short stop.
If you make as much as me I'll make you cange your name to bonnie
I read about your red neck uncle ronnie too, I'm sorry.
I had a friend kill himself trying to get to America.
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan.
Why did you leave the team so soon?
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I liked the crap you did with the Royals.
that crap was fat!
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat, truly yours,
your biggest fan, this is Alex.

My hands gone cold i'm wondering why I..
am writing this at all
the money I earn greens up my ego...
and I can't think of nothing else
and even if I did it would all be red,
but your picture on my wall
it reminds me, that its not so bad,
its not so bad.

Dear Coney,
you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think its messed up you don't answer your fans.
right now i'm wipeing my self with a hundred dollar bill.
If you didn't want to talk to me when you signed with Texas briefly you
didn't have to, but you coulda talked about how much you envy me and my 250
mill.
I waited in the blistering cold for you, four hours and you just said "No."
That's pretty crappy man - your like my frikken idol!
I want to be just like you man, I like you more then Jeter did.
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein' lied to
Remember when we met in Seattle, 1995 ALDS? You said if i'd write you you
would write back - see I am just like you in a way, only richer.
So when I have a bad day, I drift away and watch you when you dislocated your
shoulder against the Royals last year. I even got a tattoo of your name
accross my chest
Sometimes I even wonder why you didn't sign with Texas like you said you
would!
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My friend Derek Jeter is jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But he don't know you like I know you Coney, no one does
You gotta call me man, or i'll hit a couple homers off you in Boston
Sincerely yous, Alex -- P.S.
We should be together too

My hands gone cold I'm wondering why I..
am writing this at all
the money I earn greens up my ego...
and I can't think of nothing else
and even if I did it would all be red,
but your picture on my wall
it reminds me, that its not so bad,
its not so bad.

Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Sign-With-Texas - So - Went - To - Boston,
This'll be the last package I ever send you ass!
It's been three days and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect!

So this is my cassette i'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in my jet plane I asked for, i'm doing 700 at 300,
Hey Coney, I drank a fifth of the most expensive wine in the world, cause i
can afford it you dare me to fly?"
You know the song by John Denver, "away in a jet plane?" I never did either
but I think it has to do with me, he died in a plane crash!
That's kind of how this is, you coulda rescued me from crashing,
Now it's too late - I've used $100 mill! I'm to good to play in Seattle.
And all I wanted was a lousy 150 mil or 200.
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your pictures off the wall.
I love you Dave! We coulda been together, playing on the same team together,
think about it,
Your ruined it now! I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it!
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope you know I am better then Nomar, and that you can breath without me
See Coney, (SCREAMING) Shut up bitch! I'm trying to talk!
Hey Coney, that's my pilot, screaming from the back of the plane, I kicked
his butt, now i'm flying the plane! but I didn't throw him out or anything, I just tied him to a seat, see I ain't like you cause if he was lose, he'd stop me, but he can't now!
and he'll go down with me too, well, gotta go, I'm almost in Seattle, I see
Safeco field in my window, how bout I crash into it?
Oh crap, I forgot, How'm I supposed to send the crap out?
(CRASH!)

My hands gone cold i'm wondering why I..
am writing this at all
the money I earn greens up my ego...
and I can't think of nothing else
and even if I did it would all be red,
but your picture on my wall
it reminds me, that its not so bad,
its not so bad.

Dear A-rod
I meant to write you sooner, but come on! you have to give the mail some
time, I just don't get the mail when you stick it in the box, so I got both
your letters today.
So you got 250 million dollar contract? how long is it?
Look, i'm really flattered you like me so much,
and heres my autograph
I wrote it on a Red Sox cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you when I was briefly with the Ranger.
Don't think I signed with Boston just to diss you
But the Red Sox have a better chance this year then Texas! you or not on the team
c'mon - how messed up is you? Texas has no chance!
You got some issues A-rod, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
and whats the crap about us meant to be together?
Just think of this, you get to face me when you guys play Boston.
That type of crap makes me not want us to meet each other...
I really think you and your money need each other
or maybe you should just spend it a little better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time before you hurt yourself,
I think that you'dd be doin just fine with Texas
I'm glad I inspired you with my dislocated shoulder, but Alex
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a teamate,
just not with Texas
And whats this crap that you are better then Nomar? that is some crazy crap.
I seen this one crap on the news a couple days ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and flew his plane right into Safeco Field, he survived,
but they don't know where he is, they say he might be headed to Texas
He had his pilot tied to the chair, and he had a Ranger Cap on
In the the reckage they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to...
Come to think about it, it was a private jet, his name was... It was you..
DAMN!

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Pacing: 2.6
How Funny: 2.5
Overall Rating: 2.6

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

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