(Laughter at a Sorority Pizza Party)
“Call ‘em up!”
“Anchovies!”
“Half sausage, half rainbow trout!”
“Shush! Shush! Shush! The phone’s ringing!”

A cross between a Pizza Hut
And the cardboard of phone books
Domino’s will taste like sh*t
But cheapness is their hook
Just bring one to your office fling
And everybody eats
Though everybody hates it
It’s better than those sheets

Eat Domino’s you lardass!
One slice and you’ll want more
The cheapness of their bargains
Let’s you eat when poor

Let’s suffice with a new slice
And we’ll avoid the Noid
Cause when we order Domino’s
Our hunger’s been destroyed

Oh!
Domino’s!
Domino’s!
Domino’s!
Go get the door!

Your Brooklyn-style pizza
Is Styrofoam with cheese
You can barely taste the flavor
All you taste is just the grease
Cholesterol keeps risin’
With each slice I eat
A college diet of
Burnt swiss cheese and rancid meat

Oh!
Domino’s
Domino’s
(“Yowch! That’s hot!”)
Oreos
On Pizza? Yick!*

Domino’s
Domino’s
With free brownies?
That makes no sense

(“Bring the tums!”)

[Pizza Boy]
It might be dry
Our pastry dough
There’s no doubt it is
I’ve got my pride and my nice ride
And got change for a ten
Want tacos? Sorry bros
But we’ve got extra cheese!

[Sorority Girl] (Pushes the Pizza Boy out of the way)
Here’s the cash, now go get lost
And don’t you upstage me!

Domino’s
Domino’s
Yeast won’t grow
And it tastes like feet

(Cheering of the Sorority Girls)
“Food Girls!”
“Stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff… Stuff your mouth!”

(“Yeah… Stuff MY mouth!”)

[Pizza Boy]
Just one more thing before I go
You forgot to give
My tip’s denied, won’t let that slide
I need to pay my rent
I suppose your low-blows
Sure have made me peeved

[Sorority Girl]
Here’s your tip, Molly the slut
You can go have fun for free

Domino’s
Domino’s
You’re bestowed
With sexy tips!

Domino’s
Domino’s

[Pizza Boy]
“Need Money!!!!
But you can strip!”

Domino’s
Domino’s
(“Damn! Here you go it’s a few dollars”)

“It is a greasy little thing, inn’it”

“What kinda cheese is this anyway?”

“I’ll tell you what. I can eat as far as the crust, but then…”

"Deep dish or hand tossed it?"

“It’s really Little Caesar’s that I crave!”

“I’m hungry enough to eat this whole pizza”

(“Chomp!”)

“Wish I had Papa John’s in my stomach!”

“Boy!
I get so bloated when I chew cheese along with all this hot Canadian bacon.
I’ll tell ya, I feel pretty gassy right now.
But then again it’s only right since I am eating from Domino’s”