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Song Parodies -> "Ke$ha's NOT a Superstar!!!"

Original Song Title:

"Who Stole My Car?"

Parody Song Title:

"Ke$ha's NOT a Superstar!!!"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

My first attempt at a rap song...
Now Ke$ha’s a joke and playin’ games are a thrill
But this isn't funny y'all this bitch makes me ill
Now there's a limit to humor but Ke$ha’s gone way too far
I ain't laughin no more y'all, Ke$ha’s NOT a Superstar!!!

Now I don't know if you ever lived with a fake Superstar before
But it's a real sickening feeling when she walks through the door
And she starts gettin’ naked, then climbs into bed
Now you're starin’ at the wall tryin’ to guess WTF’s in her head
Now you know she’s not all there, but yet you keep starin’
Cause your mind doesn't accept yet the clothes she keeps wearin’
So you're scratching your head and cleanin’ up all the glitter
And there’s always some idiot out there saying (maybe she‘ll get better)

To call a shrink would be the move that is smart
But instead you keep believin’ that this bitch has a heart
Searchin’ for reasons to stay together, like all the albums she’s sold
Something to justify that - maybe she’s not just an industry Ho
But she really can’t sing, no, never forget it
But then you ask yourself… well where the hell is her talent?
If there was an award you'd win sucker of the year
Cause you're takin’ her too seriously when you know she ain’t all there

So through Hollywood you find yourself rollin’
Then when you finally accept that she's controllin’
You call her record company and they start to say
(She’s our garbage chic Superstar of today)
As if that's something’ that they really needed to mention
Then they started askin’ you real stupid questions
Like (well, have you seen her last video?)
You idiot, can’t you see this bitch is loco?
Now you're mad, this producer is talkin’ to you
While Ke$ha’s in your car headed to some underground club room
Agent, producer, or whoever you are
Would you please get off your ass and tell Ke$ha she’s NOT a Superstar!!!

I remember our first date, never forget it
She had dirty blonde hair, tons of make-up, hoped I wouldn’t regret it
Talk about slutty, she started talkin’ about sex
She had a hot body, but y’all her clothes were a mess!
She was wearin’ so much glitter, but as if that wasn't enough
She wanted to have sex in the car, and she wanted it rough
We started getting’ it on, and the car started to rock
But then she started moanin’, you could hear her for blocks
The next time we went out I was frontin’ real hard
I could hear people sayin’ (damn, look at that broad)
I was hyped and I wanted my friends to check her out
So I went to a nightclub where Ke$ha usually hangs out
Just my luck nobody's getting’ inside
And I didn't really feel like hurtin’ my pride
So I honked my horn and Ke$ha wasn’t comin’
I thought what the hell, I went inside, left the engine runnin’
I was inside for 30 seconds that's all
I found Ke$ha, and said to my friends, "You gotta check her out, y'all"
But when we went to hang out, Ke$ha wasn't there
(Man she ain't nothin) She IS, I swear!
My friends got inside, I was mad they didn't believe me
Now I'm standin’ at the spot where my car and Ke$ha used to be
It was hard to figure out what to do on my own
But then I got it- call her cell phone

(My boyfriend’s car)
Yo Bitch, bring my car back now
Before we break up (STFU, wait a few hours pal)
(Seems like you forgot my needs)
I thought: she's right, "Well, come back baby, please"
Unfortunately, she hung up
I thought about it and said to myself, “Are you serious?”
This bitch must be really drunk and delirious
I realized then this relationship wasn’t going far
Hell no, Ke$ha’s NOT a Superstar!!!
I was just about to say forget it
When I spotted her in a club, I had had it
I came up behind her and man she was wasted
She was dancing’ all wild and fast
Like she was getting’ points for grindin’ her ass
I took her home and angrily I said
Of course you realize that this relationship is dead
All through Hollywood the rumors were spreadin’
Ke$ha was partying’ around like she was really trippin’
A bottle of whiskey and she lost all control
Tearin’ her clothes off and using my stripper pole
I ran to her side, asked her if she was okay
She said yeah, hurled on the my floor- it was such a disgrace
The cops came in responding to a call
They saw Ke$ha with blow and she said it was my fault
If her neck was closer I probably woulda grabbed it
She told the cops that it was MY bad habit
I calmed down and we got things straight
I saw half my pad covered in glitter, the other half in waste
I wanted to just drown Ke$ha in the ocean
My pad looked like it was a huge rubbish explosion
Why does Ke$ha make life so hard?
I ain't laughin no more y'all, Ke$ha’s NOT a Superstar!!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   18

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - April 27, 2011 - Report this comment
All these anti-Ke$ha parodies are probably making Rebecca Black feel better.

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