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Song Parodies -> "No One Spanks Like a Nun"

Original Song Title:

"Gaston"

Original Performer:

Disney Songs

Parody Song Title:

"No One Spanks Like a Nun"

Parody Written by:

Claude Prez

The Lyrics

Okay children, sing along....SING ALONG I SAID!!!!!
ME: Time for more whining about my Catholic upbringing...
NUNS: Did somebody say MORE WINE???

Gosh, it disturbs me to see all these nuns
Dealing with Catholic slumps
Priests on a pedophile spree hurt these nuns
Dragging them down in the dumps

No diocese grunt’s as admired as them
They’re everyone’s favorite broads
Even when Whoopi is hired by them
They just sing, and the whole world applauds...

No...one...shames like a nun
No one blames like a nun
No one paddles your ass and takes names like a nun
They are all so impressively scary
Naughtiness now has a cure
Take in vain God or Jesus or Mary
And your knuckles get whacked with a ruler for sure

No...one...smokes like a nun
Scars young folks like a nun
No one’s better at punchlining jokes than a nun
They do not like to talk about masturbating
Dude! What a prude is a nun!

Say five Our Dads
Twelve Glory Bes
The nuns are the blessed
And the rest can suck these!
*ahem*

No...one...warns like a nun
No one scorns like a nun
Is depicted in ludicrous porns like a nun
Oh, there’s no one as judgey or cranky
They are righteous as sh*t, you can tell
They have never been slutty or skanky
Damn straight! And every last inch of them’s holy as hell!

No one fights like a nun
No one bites like a nun
No one secretly rocks Batman tights like a nun
They’re especially good at cohabitating
(Get it?!?)
It’s 2-for-1 nuns!

When she was a lass she would kneel before God
In the place of a gross teenage boy
It never occurred to her He’d be a fraud
Yes but swallowing THAT brings her joy!

No...one...barks like a nun
Hunts down sharks like a nun
No one murders drug dealers in parks like a nun

They’re expressly forbidden from procreating
Say it again
Who does not lie with men?
And then say it once more
Who is not a big whore?
Whose perversion’s repressed?
Don’t you know? Have you guessed?
Who’s the sister who’s second to....uh, someONE...
They’re the chicks in the church that you cannot besmirch!
And it’s spelled...N-U-N...
Um....yeah, that’s correct...
N-U-N, pretty straightforward spelling, actually...
A....NUN!!!

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.7
How Funny: 2.6
Overall Rating: 2.7

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   7
 7
 7
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   5
 4
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - November 06, 2017 - Report this comment
Walt Disney is unfrozen and came to help you out with this one right? This was great! Second to Nun! Claude Prez is back in full form! No whacked knuckles for you!
Agrimorfee - November 06, 2017 - Report this comment
Such nasty habits! (chortle)
Peter Andersson - November 06, 2017 - Report this comment
We all get our catholics - on route 666 - when Claude's up to his tricks!
-111! (on the aforementioned 666 that is).
Jeff Reuben - November 08, 2017 - Report this comment
This was kind of a turn on!
Mother Superior - November 08, 2017 - Report this comment
^ a million Hail Marys, you lech!

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