[WRITER #1]
I'm the best, I'm the best -- as my vote count will attest
People voting leaves me gloating, smug and puffing out my chest
Without peer! This is know for my vote count tells me so...
For on earth there's nothing sweeter than to have a ton of readers
With each vote that I get I can feel myself get wet...
(Ooh -- another vote! And see? My pants are messed...)
Just check the 'Author's Page' -- you'll see I'm all the rage, yes
I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best!

I'll take 1s, 2s or 3s 'cause they're all the same to me --
Just be sure to leave a rating so my stature's guaranteed
Don't leave notes, I don't care what critiques you have to share:
"...blah-blah-blah... could be more witty..."
"...yada-yada... really shitty..."
I won't care what you wrote long as I have got your vote
So my vote count will stand high above the rest
So keep your 5-5-5s, the vote counts prove that I've
Now been assessed as the best
-- in the North, South, East or West --
I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best!

[WRITER #2]
I'm the best, I'm the best -- as my av'rage will attest
Four-point nine-nine three years running (I, for one, am quite impressed)
For I write not for fun, but to stay at NumberOne
If it has a chance you'll '3' it, then I'll never let you see it
And I'm far too hard-core to abide a '5-5-4'
No, each time a perfect score must be my quest
My public validates me by the way they rate me
I'm the best, yes the best, I'm the best!

When I write, I'm uptight, for I have to get it right --
I can't eat, and I can't sleep, and I am often up all night;
If it's flawed, just a bit, I refuse to hit 'SUBMIT'
And if I can't seem to fix it, then alas, I must deep-six it
I've wrote lots that I love, but when pushing comes to shove
If I think they're 5-4-5's, then they're suppressed
My creativity's held in captivity
So I'll be best! Yes, I'm stressed, but the best!

[WRITER #3]
Life's a little brighter when you know you are a writer
With the skill to use your quill to make a smile --
Generously sharing of your talents
Keeps alive your playful inner child...
YET when you are writing, it is so much more exciting
If your ego gets inflated, stroked, enhanced!
Stripped of puffed-up egos, we are nothing!
And if you should doubt me,
Look, this next verse is about me:

I'm the best, I'm the best, as my comments will attest.
Like:
"HILARIOUS!"
"OUTSTANDING!"
and
"GOOD GOD AM I IMPRESSED!"
Chuck, in case you erase the entire database,
I've made copies of my kudos (it's the prudent thing to do), so
If we crash, I'll retype each and every line of hype
(Well, the fawning ones -- I'll edit out the rest)
So people still can read how folks admire me
Cause I'm the best, I'm the best,
I'M THE BEST!