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Song Parodies -> "Meet the Press"

Original Song Title:

"Be Our Guest"

Original Performer:

Disney

Parody Song Title:

"Meet the Press"

Parody Written by:

Mike Armstrong

The Lyrics

I sat on this for awhile. It's the story of a media-driven run at the White House. Enjoy!
Meet the press. "Meet the Press".
Put your campaign to the test.
Russert's tanked he's also cranky
And today you are his guest.
Tax the rich? Pull the troops?
Holes are there so find the loops.
Try the vague route it's the quickest
And make SURE your hair is slickest
911, show you grief. Then laugh at "boxer or brief?"
If you do not know an answer laugh and guess!
You hope to win this scrimmage? Better prep that image!
Meet the press! Meet the press! Meet the press!

"Exxon oil sent you cash? That's why that bill didn't pass"
Talk the dance of circumstance or you will take it up the ass.
You're alone. Don't look scared! Your speechwriter is prepared.
Counteract the kiddies you hurt.
Crack jokes with Colbert and Stewart.
Try to coax while you smile.
Let your hair down for awhile!

(Colbert Nation)
You're the boss of gravitas and truthiness!!

Fend off their shots and then show
What you got on Leno.
Meet the press. Wow you're blessed! Opponent's man messed a dress!
Meet the press, Sweet! The press. Meet the press.

(Candidate)
Times they sure ain't stunning
For a candidate that's running
Fly's the wind without a friend to toosh the tish
Ah those good ole days in local office.
How the hell did I get into this?
Ten years I've been going
Rep my district while tiptoeing
Get my salary while trying to blend in!
Most days I'd just gamble with the newbies.
10 on gerrymander! Now I'm Lamar Alexander?

(Campaign Manager)
It's the press! Shit! The press!
Where's our man?! Why's he undressed?!!
Curse the booker! PAY that hooker!
I can tell, hell, I'M the best!
With dessert he will speak. Let's all hope he doesn't tweek.
Hope his cold heart doesn't show. Brr!
Please God let him do it sober.
Press conference, at your home
Dig your past with fine-toothed comb
"Does he have a gay son?" My God they're obsessed!!
I've got so much to do! We've got Oprah at 2.
Let's work the press (jerk the press) Shirk the press (make em guess)

(Chorus)
Meet the press! Meet the press! There's momentum on this quest
You've conquered Geraldo, Cooper, and Chris Matthews' hornet's nest.
Lordy you found a niche, made the primaries your bitch
Now get red votes blast Osama
Then get blue votes quote Obama
SHOW BY SHOW
Cheer by cheer
Till it's time, November's HERE!
And we champ-i-on assured poll booth success!
Congrats my boy you've done it
All that's left's to run it
Meet the press! Meet the press! Meet the press! We meet the press!
As always, comments welcome

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - January 01, 2007 - Report this comment
The five words no candidate for President ever wants to hear: Tim Russert saying, "Senator, let me show you..." Because then, he'll have to explain what Russert showed. This coming November 5 will mark MTP's 60th Anniversary. It is the longest-running show in the history of television -- at least, in North America, I can't be sure about Europe, as Britain and Germany both had network TV before we did -- and it has also been one of the most consequential. And now, with the NFL season over, we can once again watch it without the Buffalo-born-and-raised Russert closing with "Go Bills!" (Of course, there's the first-place Sabres to worry about.)
Jack Wilson - January 01, 2007 - Report this comment
LOVED IT! Love the Colbert and Stewart references too!
Steve Parsons - January 01, 2007 - Report this comment
I guess it was decent, some of your rhymes didn't really rhyme though, I could probably do a lot better.
Phil Alexander - January 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Some wonderful lines - I thought the rhyming was fun (if you can do better, Steve, go ahead and post your parody where you mouth is) In places it reminds me of my "Read My Lips" variant to this song...

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