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Song Parodies -> "Pee Our Test"

Original Song Title:

"Be Our Guest"

Original Performer:

Disney

Parody Song Title:

"Pee Our Test"

Parody Written by:

Claude Prez

The Lyrics

Greetings, valued employee. It is with misplaced pride and genuine arrogance that wewelcome you here today. And now, we invite you to relax and piddle in a little cup, asyour workplace proudly presents: Your mandatory drug screen.
Pee...our...test, pee our test, there's no need to get undressed
Walk right in and whip it out; let mother nature do the rest
Go ahead! Hope it's clean; You don't need a magazine
That would be the wrong ejection for our liquid gold collection
What you're on, we must know; and then you will have to go
If you just do your job we're not impressed
So open up those pants, and let's give pee a chance
To be our test, wee our test, pee our test

Drugs are bad, kids mmmkay, this is just our little way
To placate the expectations of a world that's gone astray
Down with coke; smack is wrong; and we don't like Cheech and Chong
But how worldly we're all bein; Cause we Czech while European
Be a drunk; beat your wife; lead a sorry, sorry life
Just don't you take that trip to Doobapest
We're really nosy guys; undo those button flies
And pee our test! (Have you guessed? With great focus we've been blessed!)
Pee our test! Pee our test! Pee our test!

What's the use in quizzing...an employee who's not whizzing?
We're so hurt, without a squirt to gaze upon...
Ah, we must all pretend we're useful...or suddenly, our good old days are gone...
For years, pee's been gushing; needing so much more than flushing...
Needing analyzed, a chance to screw your thrills...
We know you lay around, you slacker...spaced out, purple hazy...
Not our business? You so crazy!

It's a test! It's a test! It's a creepy pee-pee-fest!
Drain the liz and take a whizz because our business is the best!
C'est tres vrais! C'est tres chic! Watching people take a leak!
Madame Tinkle will escort you; though her wink'll likely thwart you!
This is how! It must be! We just know you'll say oui-oui!
You're bound to be successful in your quest!
You've got a lot to do! That's number one, not two!
Pee our test! Pee our test! Pee our test!

PEE...OUR...TEST! Pee our test! We must know what you ingest!
We can't hold it any longer; we'll EXPLODE, we're so obsessed!
Phond of Phish? Crackhead ho? Oh, we just can't wait to know!
IT'S A BIG RELIEF TO SEE THESE JARS AND JARS OF PEOPLE'S WEE-WEES!
(Aaaaaaaah....)
Test them all!
One by one!
Till we shout, "Hey, this is fun!"
And late at night we--Oh, but we've digressed!
If you think toilets suck!
Then brother urine luck!
So pee our test!
Pee our test!
Pee our test!
Please!
Pee!
Our!
Teeeeeeeest!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Meriadoc - August 11, 2003 - Report this comment
You tested 5-5-5. 'Czech while European' - LOL!
Phil Alexander - August 11, 2003 - Report this comment
A marvellous piss-take, Claude - damn near provided a sample while laughing ;-)
Robert J. Pagliaro - August 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Very, very good. - I.P. Daily
Billy Florio - August 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Amazing, purely amazing....." Cause we Czech while European"...hahaha.....
Wild Man - August 11, 2003 - Report this comment
LOL Claude, and Phil great comment!
Claude Prez - August 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments all
Spaff.com - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
The fact that someone gave this threes pisses me off. Pun intended. Just when you think Claude Prez can't get any better, he gives us this, with great lines spouting from every direction. Oui oui!
Rick D - October 23, 2003 - Report this comment
Claude--So far, this is the funniest thing to me I've read on this site, First, because it's Disney, second, For all the clever wordplay, and third, Because the original was long and wordy and you had to keep the gag going and going and going. Much better than my "Peeing for the Benefit of Mr. Grupp".
Claude Prez - October 23, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks Rick--I really liked "Mr. Grupp" but I don't think I commented on it. I did think you might like this one though so I'm glad you saw it (I'm glad you saw my CCR parody too but that one isn't one of my favorites and this one is) Thanks again.
Cheezmeister - February 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Holy crap! wait, no, that's holy pee. HILARIOUS!! ah....you even worked Cheech and Chong into it. parodizers like me look up to parodizers like you. 555.....but how the heck do you say that C'est tres vrais thing? stupid french......
Johnny D - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
You da Wiz! 5's
John Jenkins - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
I checked all the Poles and polled all the Czechs - it's unanimous that this is a great parody.
Johnny D - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey JJ - after you polled all those Czechs, I hope you checked your Poles again.
Adagio - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
This was pure genious, Claude! Love the word-play! 5's
John Jenkins - March 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Good idea, JD. I'm gonna go to Warsaw and have my Poles thorougly checked out.
Agrimorfee - March 09, 2004 - Report this comment
This could be Tournamnet 2004 winner! 555
Diva - March 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Urine LUCK! LOL! Very clever words!
Paul Robinson - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Claude - So I guess this would be the "Pee-Cup" ride at Disneyland, eh? It's a REALLY small world when you have some "Disney Dragoon" looking over your shoulder and scrutinizing your stream to make sure you are sober enough for Mimimum Wage employment. Every drop of this parody landed dead-center in the cup. When it's full, toss it end-over-end over your shoulder to the "pee-monitor" and exit laughing, 'cause you've got to know that this CAN'T be a place where you'd want to spend 40 hours a week.
Spaff.com - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Loved it back in the day; love it still. So many great lines and references it makes my head spin. Cheech and Chong. Phish. "Doobapest." The Madame Tinkle line. The whole damn shebang.
Diva - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
The guys are right, this would hve kicked booty in the tourney.
Jeff Reuben - March 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh my...this was hilarious! I fell off the chair by the fourth line. 5-5-5. One of your best!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 02, 2004 - Report this comment
If normal parody writers are a providence of humour: URINATION!!! Great work!!!
Cat - February 18, 2006 - Report this comment
One of my favorite BOG parodies, although there are many. I just love reading spoofs of this song, as well as parodying it myself (*shameless plug*go read "You've Been Blessed"*end shameless plug*) But one thing I don't get is that it seems like my version, as well as Spaff's and Claude's, are the only versions that use the pacing of the song from the movie as opposed to the Broadway version like people like EmiLoca did. I thought the movie version was more well-known, myself...
Spaff.com - May 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Master P: This is number one, not two. I still laugh so hard I, um...
Jack Wilson - November 21, 2006 - Report this comment
This is just AWESOME
Jack Wilson - November 21, 2006 - Report this comment
This is just AWESOME, Claude, its HILARIOUS. WHY did I not see this back in the day? This just plain rules. Id pick fva line, but Id have to copy and paste it all, and i love Disney parodies so yeah
Leprechaun - November 13, 2007 - Report this comment
ha ha...this is soooo funny. I.P. Freely

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