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Song Parodies -> "Mormon Paradise"

Original Song Title:

"Gangstas Paradise"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Mormon Paradise"

Parody Written by:

Michael Nathaniel

The Lyrics

If you don't know who the Mormons are, ask your mother.
As I walk through the aisles which are within my church
I take a look at my life and realize this is my turf
But soon I'm going on a mission to Uganda
But even Joseph Smith thinks my mind is gone
I have never prayed for a man who didn't deserve
A Mormon watching T.V. you know that's unheard of
I never suits fancy things like that
White shirt with a tie and pants that are black
I really hate to say it but I've got to go
Since I am the pastor and I'm wearing his cloak, fool
I am the kind of guy that my friends want to be like
On my knees in the night, saying prayers and drinking Sprite
I've been spending most my life living in a Mormon Paradise
I've keep spending most my life but it is such a sacrifice
But people treat us really bad in a way that is not very nice
I don't know why I am still here, here in my Mormon Paradise
Our religion is the best, though none of it is dirty
Since we were first started in the year 1830
The religious Sabbath to us is on the day Saturday
Since all of us in our church is part of the Latter Day
But I'm an educated man with God on my mind
A Book of Mormon in my hand and a cross to demonize, fool
Death ain't nothing but a long mile away
Since we are the Mormons, but what can I say?
But I'm fourteen and a half now and I am coming clean
So our bodies are pure so we never drink caffeine
Tell me who are they to judge us this way
Just because we are Mormon, but we are here to stay
I've been spending most my life living in a Mormon Paradise
I've keep spending most my life but if you join, you pay the price
Since we are Mormon and are pure, we've never touched a pair of dice
But for the homeless, we'll make some cherry and apple pies
Power is in God, God is in the power
But it can be shattered like a defenseless flower
I am on my first mission on my first doorstep
Since this is my first year, I've got three left
Then I rang the doorbell, the doorbell rang itself
A woman answered then but she needs to help herself
Then everybody's yelling inside of their house
They're yelling because they want me to get out.
But if they don't listen, how can I reach them?
If they will ignore me, how can I preach to them?
I guess they can't, I guess they won't
I guess they won't cause' I know their lives are out of luck fool!
I keep spending most my life living in a Mormon Paradise
If you're new at our sect, I guess that you'd think it's not right
People treat us in a way that you could not call very nice
I'm here, and I'm here to stay here in the Mormon Paradise
Tell me who are they to judge us this way
Just because we are Mormon, but we are here to stay
Tell me who are they to judge us this way
Just because we are Mormon, but we are here to stay
Copyright 2007 by Michael Nathaniel

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 2.0
Overall Rating: 2.0

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   2
 4   2
 5   18

User Comments

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Dylan Baranski - March 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Some lines don't rhyme, but I give it 5s anyways because it reminds me so much of Weird Al's "Amish Paradise"
2Eagle - March 12, 2007 - Report this comment
You left out socials and lime jello.
Darrell Wilhelm - March 23, 2007 - Report this comment
I wish that Dubya and Dubya's buddies would just give Utah back to the Mormons.
A "Mormon" - October 17, 2007 - Report this comment
I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I love a good parody, especially when it’s about me. The problem here is that this is not a good parody. You have too many inaccuracies: 1) “A Mormon watching T.V. you know that's unheard of” Mormons can watch TV. What on earth makes you think we can’t? 2) “Since I am the pastor and I’m wearing his cloak...” No one in the LDS faith is called a “pastor”. While we obviously have clergy called to serve as leaders (the church is run entirely by lay ministers, I might add) none of them hold the title “pastor”. 3) “The religious Sabbath to us is no the day Saturday” Ridiculous. I don’t even know how one could make that mistake. The LDS Sabbath is on Sunday (as it is for most, if not all Christian faiths) because that was the day Christ rose from the tomb and “broke the bands of death”. 4) “...and a cross to demonize...” I defy you to find a “Mormon” carrying a cross. In the LDS faith a conscious effort is made to focus on the resurrected, living Christ. As a result you will not find crosses or crucifixes in (or on) their homes, churches, or temples. 5) “...I’m fourteen and a half now and I am coming clean” You know, I honestly have no idea what this means. Nothing happens to youth at age fourteen and a half in the LDS faith. Is this just an age you chose at random? Is this your age? 6) “ we never drink caffeine” If not for everything else I would let this one slide, because there is some truth here. “Mormons” live by a revelation know as the “Word of Wisdom”. In is there are many “do’s” and some “don’ts” aimed at keeping the body healthy (it falls into the “your body is a temple” category). One of the lines in it states something like “‘hot’ drinks are not for the body or belly”. I put ‘hot’ in single quotes because NO ONE in the LDS faith argues that we are to abstain from all beverages which are hot in temperature. We know that a hot drink at the time was taken to mean tea and coffee. Some now argue that the intent of that portion of the “Word of Wisdom” was to caution against the use of caffeine (a drug). I personally do not drink caffeine, my wife (who I would say is the more righteous and spiritual of the two of us) however loves caffeinated soda (Dr. Pepper is her favorite). 7) “I am on my first mission...Since this is my first year, I've got three left” All worth young men are encouraged to serve a (one) mission for the church when they turn nineteen. The standard duration of a mission for a young man is two years (four years is crazy talk). When members are older (retired, kids gone) they are encouraged to request assignments to serve additional missions. There is plenty of real stuff to make fun of about the LDS faith. I think you just need to do a little more research.
Another Mormon - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
I agree its hilarious, but it would be better if half of it were true :( we like to sing this song at firesides, but we change the words to make it more fitting :) but its all fun.
Kyu - December 12, 2008 - Report this comment
It would have been funnier if it rhymed and if you actually got a few facts right... Just like A "Mormon" said. It's rather offensive if you don't get your facts right.
lishasaur - June 19, 2009 - Report this comment
I agree with a Mormon. I really like some of it but the parts that he pointed out that are not true- don't make senes. If your going to make fun of a religon your facts have to be correct. But.. hey oh well to each there own. glad you gave the mormon religion so much attention. god bless :D
aajfaskjdk - August 26, 2010 - Report this comment
haha nice but mormons are really judgemental haha

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