As I walk through the studio where I record my songs
I take a look at Jade and realize he's never wrong
Cause I've been vegan and straightedge so long that
Even our drummer thinks my mind is gone
But I aint never sang a song that my fans didn't like
For me to be called punk, it's now almost unheard of
You better watch how you do your makeup, and how you walk
Or you and your homies might be called drag queens
I really hate to dance, but I gotta do it
A rockstar with no moves? You know it's unheard of
I'm the kinda man all the gay boys wanna be like
On my knees on the stage
Screaming lyrics to the fans

I've been spending most my life
Livin' in a Pleather Pair o' Pants
I've kissed Hunter once or twice
Livin' in a Pleather Pair o' Pants
Jade wears hella rad pink ties
Livin' in a Pleather Pair o' Pants

Look at the situation they got me facin',
I can't lead a normal life, I was raised by punk rockers
So I gotta avoid the music critics who say I'm "goth"
Too much television watchin' made me want to be a girl
I'm an educated rocker with not enough royalties
Got a microphone in my hand and a super-long chin
I'm a fuckin' pretty boy, with fuckin' wavy hair
And my homies are ninjas, so let me wear lace, fool
Death is something I dream about every day
I'm livin life just to die, so what can I say?
I'm 29 now, but will I live to see tomorrow?
The way things are goin', what can I say?
Tell me why are we so girly
That the ones we act like are chicks on TV?

I've been spending most my life
Livin' in a Pleather Pair o' Pants
To be like Marilyn Monroe would be nice
Livin' in a Pleather Pair o' Pants
I like to gamble with fuzzy pink dice
Livin' in a Pleather Pair o' Pants

Power and the money, money and the power
Everybody's rockin', but half of them aint hardcore
There's only vegan food in my kitchen, but I sure as hell don't do the cookin'
They say I've gotta learn, but Jade refuses to teach me
And if Hunter won't show me, Adam'll never reach me
I guess they can't—I guess they won't
I guess I'm forced to order vegan takeout, from my favourite restaurant, fool

I've been spending most my life
Livin' in a Pleather Pair o' Pants
I want to have some tofu and rice
Livin' in a Pleather Pair o' Pants
Sometimes we sound like a bunch of mice
Livin' in a Pleather Pair o' Pants

Tell me why are we so girly
That the ones we act like are chicks on TV?