A, B, C, D, E, F, G is my most favorite phrase
I teach a bunch of kids numbers, letters, and basic shapes
Cause I've been teachin' and laughin' so long that
Even Mr. Rogers thought that my mind was gone

But I ain't never cursed a word, 'cause no one deserves it
Barney acting like a punk? You know that's unheard of
You better watch how you're talkin', and where you're walkin'
Because all my homies must be rated G

Got really purple skin, green spots on my back
And my friends have names like BJ and Baby Bop, fool
I'm the kinda G the little children wanna be like
ABCs day and night
Telling children not to fight

We've been spending most our lives
Living in a Barney Paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in a Barney Paradise
Eat no chocolate, we eat rice
Living in a Barney Paradise
We have not a single vice
Living in a Barney Paradise

We've been spending most our lives
Living in a Barney Paradise
Just for fun, we count by fives
Living in a Barney Paradise
All the "gangstas" think it bites
Living in a Barney Paradise
Educational advice
Living in a Barney Paradise

Believe in education, My best friend Jason
He can't eat nothing but rice, we were raised by the strict
So I gotta be down in the kids' dreams
I'm on television teaching kids to count by threes

I'm a educated fool that will not go away
Got two fingers in my hands and green spots on my tail
I'm the opposite of gangsta, an educator
And so rarely do I ever express my anger, fool

Death ain't nothin' that will happen to me
Even the Spice Girls said bye before I could say
In '93 I was huge, I can count to twenty-four
And other numbers that you don't know

A, B, C, and D -- E, F, and G
H, I, J, K, L -- M, N, O, P

We've been spending most our lives
Living in a Barney Paradise
We count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Living in a Barney Paradise
No kid's older than age five
Living in a Barney Paradise
We eat apples, corn, and rice
Living in a Barney Paradise

We've been spending most our lives
Living in a Barney Paradise
PBS shows us all night
Living in a Barney Paradise
Teach 'bout shapes and traffic lights
Living in a Barney Paradise
We sing songs that really bite
Living in a Barney Paradise

I love you, you love me
We're a happy family
That song's so annoying, but it's in every episode
It's going to drive the parents ex-trem-e-ly insane, fool

They say kids gotta learn, but nobody's here to teach 'em
And they get purple dinosaurs to teach ABC
We're residents -- on PBS
A, B, C, D E, F, G, H, I, K, L, M, N, O, P, fool

We've been spending most our lives
Living in a Barney Paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in a Barney Paradise
No kids beyond age five
Living in a Barney Paradise
We have not a single vice
Living in a Barney Paradise

We've been spending most our lives
Living in a Barney Paradise
We eat fruits instead of fries
Living in a Barney Paradise
We count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Living in a Barney Paradise
We count up to fifty-five
Living in a Barney Paradise

I love you -- You love me
We're a happy family
With a great big hug-- and a kiss from me to you
Won't you say -- you love me too

I love you -- You love me
We're a happy family
With a great big hug-- and a kiss from me to you
Won't you say -- you love me too

(Choral ending -- a capella)
I love you
You love me
We're a happy family