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Song Parodies -> "Anytime You Glue (Your Contacts With Glue)"

Original Song Title:

"Everything I Do"

Original Performer:

Bryan Adams

Parody Song Title:

"Anytime You Glue (Your Contacts With Glue)"

Parody Written by:

Lionel Mertens

The Lyrics

The following is an unpaid Parody Service Announcement(PSA), about the dangers of having certain types of eye drops and contact glue in close proximity to each other. It seems many of these products are bottled very similarly, and pose a significant health threat to a person’s eyesight when they are used at the same time. One product can easily be confused for another. All consumers are hereby encouraged not to keep eye drops and contact glue products in the same container, like purses and drawers. Due diligence should be shown when administering such products.

SuperGlue® your eyes – you won’t see
‘Till they pry them free
Rub your eyes - shout and scream
And if they turn blood red, then use Visine®

Don’t tell me you keep them in your purse
Don’t confuse ‘em – your vision could get worse
Ya know your screwed
Anytime you’ve glued – your contacts with glue

Look before you squeeze – just incase
Your ClearEyes® was misplaced
Check the bottle close – check it twice
You could loose a lash – you could loose your eyes

Don’t tell me you’ve done this once before
I can’t help it – I can’t stop keeping score
Ya know you’re screwed
When you have confused – your eye drops with glue

There’s no sight – like hindsight
And no Einstein – would say you’re bright
It’s dumb luck – ‘Till they’re unstuck
Watch your eyes – Save your face

Oh – you can’t tell me it’s not worth suing for
You can fight this – and see your day in court
Yeah, they would stare at you – They’d glare at you
Beat their staff for you – Yeah, they’d laugh at you

Ya know your screwed
When you have contused your eyelids with glue

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Serevi - September 01, 2007 - Report this comment
LMOA!!! This was great, pacing was absolutely spot-on all the way through, couldnt have flowed better! And an original and funny topic too! Brilliant! Good job a haven't misplaced my 5's...although they're all stuck together ;) 555
Lionel Mertens - September 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Well thank you so much Mr. Serevi for the fives. I've been working on this one for a couple weeks now. Glad the time taken paid off in your enjoyment. Thanks again.
Annie - September 28, 2015 - Report this comment
LOLOL! Good one :D All 5s for you. Good thing I wear glasses only, so I don't have to worry about this problem. This could be used as a jingle/PSA on a contacts commercial :P

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