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Song Parodies -> "Broom and Brush"

Original Song Title:

"Human Touch"

Original Performer:

Bruce Springsteen

Parody Song Title:

"Broom and Brush"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

An older custodian shows a rookie the struggles of janitorial service
You and me, we share all the cleanser
We make the dirt sweep away
In the end, if you don't remember
Well, the ward just strips your pay

Girl, ain't it timeless to embrace the plungers
We're gonna wipe the mirrors so clear
Well, you can wait for the messes my darlin'
But, I got the urge to spew right here

I ain't lookin' for a raise or quitting
I just noticed that someone didn't flush
They just want someone to walk through
So hand me over that broom and brush
Just a minute with that broom and brush

Ain't no mercy from the freaks of this town
When they spread their slovenly thighs
And somebody doin' lines just sneezed blood
Just wear gloves, you'll be alright

Smelly in a room that is shi**y
Do they think when I ask them to flush?
You might want something to hold on to
When I ask you for that broom and brush
Cleaning messes with that broom and brush

Oh girl, that feeling of healthy you prize
Well, it leaves when sludge hits your eyes
You can't clean off the piss and the stains
Without leavin' the smell that remains
Wash the fibers down that drain

So they've been smokin', and your eyes hurt
Smell these; yeah, buddy, you'll faint
Yeah, I know I heard somebody fartin'
And, hell, it is so rancid it could... peel the paint

You might need somethin' to hold on to
When all the people, they don't decide to flush
Yeah, buddy, it's hard to just get through
Hand me over both your broom and brush

Babies try to go without sitting
At the sink, someone's drinkin' too much
I just want to clean off my arms
Share a minute with your broom and brush [2x]
Feel a little of that human mush on you
Feel a little of that human mush
See a little of that human mush on you
Feel a little of that human mush
Give me a little of that human mush on you
Give me a minute with your broom and brush

Share a minute with your broom and brush
Feel a little of that human mush [2x]

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Kristof Robertson - October 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Nauseatingly funny, Mac...clean up a cache of 5s
Stuart McArthur - October 11, 2004 - Report this comment
"Wash the fibers down that drain" - detail, detail!! - yerk - 555 for disgust
MrMacphisto - October 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks guys... LOL... :)
Tim Mayfield - November 10, 2004 - Report this comment
You got a way with words. Leaves nothing to the imagination. Eww! Funny, though!
MrMacphisto - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Tim... lol

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