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Song Parodies -> "The Tale of a Soldier from Rohan (Lord of the Rings: Return of the King)"

Original Song Title:

"Down Easter Alexa"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"The Tale of a Soldier from Rohan (Lord of the Rings: Return of the King)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Sung by a soldier in the epic battle at Minas Tirith
Well we're riding on towards Minas Tirith
And there's six thousand men all around
There's an army of orcs there attacking
And there isn't much hope to be found

We took on soldiers back in Rohan yesterday
And left this morning after Strider ran away
Like all the locals here we must defend our home
Though scared to leave, we left our families all alone

So we could go and defend Minas Tirith
Where the thousands of orc soldiers creep
There are giants out there in battalions
And the walls of the town will not keep

No one here can say just where the One Ring goes
And Frodo's still out there, but where God only knows
They say our soldiers are outnumbered as can be
But I've got people back at home who count on me

So we will fight to defend Minas Tirith
Never minding the fear we may feel
Tell my wife that I fought for her freedom
With my courage, my heart, and my steel

Now we've driven them from Minas Tirith
And for our sake, the victory's clear
Aragorn says we must ride on Mordor
And there's no way to hide all my fear

I am a soldier like my father was before
But there's more enemies than ever seen before
Aragorn, he says their size don't mean a thing
And so, in battle, we will charge in with our King!

Fight for Frodo!
Fight for Frodo!
Fight for Frodo!
Fight for Frodo!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   0

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - December 21, 2003 - Report this comment
A great one! Like I said, LOTR annoying, but BJ uplifting. One problem: "Frodo’s still out there, but where, God only knows." Did the inhabitants of Middle Earth believe in God? Not having read the Tolkein canon, I don't know what religions they may have had, though considering how much effort JRR put into it, drawing up languages, for crying out loud, he must have drawn up some sort of belief system. But some of the Ringheads are a little picky. You may think you've pandered to them, but like Trekkies, some of them may jump on this one point.
Arwen - January 06, 2004 - Report this comment
5-5-5...I think you're my new hero, by the way.
Syncronos - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Mr. Palochek...I would expect a Trekk-ie to jump at such a minor point...a Trekk-ER would just leave it and enjoy the overall feel of the parody. Don't confuse a trekkie with a'll catch a battleth to the head...

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