In the middle of the night (middle of the night)
I go stalking down the street (stalking down the street)
all the way to your place, (go to your place)
watch you when you're asleep. (see you asleep)
And there's a window I climb in, (window I climb in)
cause it's always unlocked. (always unlocked)
And then once I'm inside (I'm inside)
Uh... prepare to be shocked. (guess you'll be shocked)

I eat your food, I give your hallway a slide,
I dress up in your underwear and dance up a storm.
And I'm never in your family's sight,
because I first go around with some chloroform!

In the middle of the night (middle of the night)
I do whatever I please. (do what I please)
First I have all your beer, (mexican beer)
Then I lose your car keys. (where's the damn keys)
Your cable channels are something. (always watch something)
And your remote control? (I got control)
Now it's much more remote, (very remote)
and I scored a field goal. (it scored a goal)

I don't know why I do these things at night
but if I were you, I'd lock all my windows and doors.
Then you should have your toothbrush sterilised,
And get some medical help about the way you snore.

In the middle of the night (middle of the night)
I take pics of you asleep. (when you're asleep)
But I don't hand them around, (they're not around)
I'm not some kinda creep. (not like a creep)
And your computer needs something- (you forgot something)
There's no password defined. (when you're online)
Now what to do? Let me see, (hmm, let me see)
Several things come to mind.
In the middle of the night

You won't be showing your face after this,
Since I posted that you've been delivering spam.
And all the photos of the underage kids
will have the FBI declaring you a wanted man!

In the middle of the night (middle of the night)
While you're snoring and asleep (when you're asleep)
I swap the labels on cans (musical cans)
of your dog food and meat. (mystery meat)
I'll buy chianti tomorrow (get it tomorrow)
and maybe some fava bean (love fava bean)
They'll be used before long, (won't be too long)
with your liver and spleen (see what I mean)
In the middle of the night