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Song Parodies -> "Be A 'Guest'!"

Original Song Title:

"Be Our Guest!"

Original Performer:

Beauty And The Beast

Parody Song Title:

"Be A 'Guest'!"

Parody Written by:

Leo Jay

The Lyrics

In recognition of the abundance of 'guest' posters cropping up on the messageboards recently...
Be a 'guest', be a 'guest' -- get that griping off your chest!
(When you want to air a grievance, anonymity is best!)
Fake a name to retort (maybe 'Mrs. Duppensport'?)
Life is not a dress rehearsal -- step right up, be controversial!
"I've been One'd!"
"I hate poop!"
"That thread's gone? Hey, what's the scoop?"
Launch a dialogue (or diatribe) with zest!
If you feel justified (yet need to run and hide)
Then be a 'guest', be a 'guest', be a 'guest'!

Be a 'guest', be a 'guest' (it's okay, you're not a pest --
After all, why should you stand behind a post of pure protest?)
You can rage, you can vent to your feeble heart's extent!
Blast your bluster til you're blue-faced (then switch back and be a two-face!)
"Chuck, this parodist sucks!"
"Can't leave comments? What the...?"
Thoughts profound as these deserve be expressed!
But if you speak as 'you', you might see 2-2-2s
So be a 'guest', be a 'guest', be a 'guest'!

If you want to grumble and start up a cyber-rumble
But you fear your popularity will dive,
Jeopardizing all your future ratings, minimizing future 5-5-5s,
Log out from your profile -- you'll have freedom to be hostile,
And you'll find your animosity can thrive!
Yet when posters view your profile postings,
They'll still think you're great (though you're that nasty 'guest' they hate), so

Be a 'guest' be a 'guest', be the one that folks detest
Be the wussiest of p***ies, in the North, South, East or West
Don't stand up for your views! (What would others think of you?)
No, just cower like a coward (if it makes you feel empowered!)
God forbid you're not liked by each Peter, Dick or Mike,
For to lose a 'fan' would cause you too much stress!
So if you have the itch, to gripe or moan or b****
There is no need to suppress all the things you want expressed!
Be a 'guest' be a 'guest', be a 'guest'!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   19

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Reuben - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, you should post this on the messageboard (hint, hint).
a guest - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
i liked it
another guest - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
I liked it, too. You might have guest
Jordan (Mike Armstrong) - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
funny read. some great allitteration in here. LOVE it.
Hootie And The Blowguest - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
I only wanna be your fish ... yikes, a booger --- 'scuse me. mean Sally - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
SON OF A CUSTARD! I didn't realize this was over here!! Sorry, buddy! You know I love it!!
EmiLoca - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
I am absolutely raving over this, Leo. You've raised the bar, and now I can't reach my tequila. Brilliant. Absolutely genius.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Gloriously rhymed and polished, great stuff. Is here the part I mention that I wasn't being sarcastic? ;) 555
2nz - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Well said.
Guestinator - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
This is the bomb. The Bombastic. Bombalocious. The great Bombino. The Bomb-a-cabana...
Leo Jay - March 25, 2005 - Report this comment
That's weird, I didn't expect this to be up until today...

Anywhoo, thanks all!
Claude Prez - March 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I've been on vacation all week, so I think I missed a lot of what inspired this. But anonymous commenters are a particular peeve of mine--I think this is absolutely positively brilliant, and I agree with every word (esp. the "wussiest of p***ies" part). Great great stuff. Bravo. This should have way more votes; I guess you've just irritated too many wankers.
Stuart McArthur - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm totally with claude - vacation-wise and pet-peeve-wise - in australia, it's called king-hitting - too cowardly to face the consequences of their criticism, so they hide behind a pseudonym - absolutely pathetic - BUT karma awaits - like the ones-guys, once a poster is revealed to have a tendency to abuse behind brave pseudonyms, every other frightened anonymous abusive post after that is by default attributed to the same coward - great insights, Leo
Phil Alexander - October 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks to Claude for the pointer: I missed this first time around - great stuff, Leo :-)
Red Ant - March 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Yep, Claude pointed me this way too; great job on an OS I've yet to tackle; I was DKTOS when this was originally posted is why I skipped it. Almost a year late with a comment and vote, but nonetheless here now.
Claude Prez - July 27, 2014 - Report this comment
I AM LOVING GUESTFEST, JUST SO EVERYBODY KNOWS. And I don't even care if nobody else cares. Stuff this awesome should not be buried forever, dammit. Today's Classic is by the outstanding Leo Jay.
Leo Jay - July 30, 2014 - Report this comment
Hey, Claude! I've been creeping around the last few days for the first time in eons and see this bump. Thanks!
Phil Alexander - July 31, 2014 - Report this comment
Still brilliant.. I feel I could be repeating my comment from nearly nine years ago :-)
TJC - August 22, 2016 - Report this comment
Just stumbled on this one, Leo---awesome stuff!

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