-> "Chia Pests"
Original Song Title:
"Be Our Guest"
Parody Song Title:
(C.D.) My dear shopper, it is with deepest pride
and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to relax, let down your hair
as the Vining Room proudly presents - your Chias!
Don't be nervous, they're the best!
Pour some water in the pottery
And watch it grow a nest
(C.D.) Not so sure
Try one on, I will observe
Why, it's great stuff!
Guess who this is?
(Gus) Eyes deceive me? It's the missus!
(C.D.) Look, there's Sting
Sid and Nance
Here's John Holmes without his pants
How long this one grows is anybody's guess
If you're alone, they'll mend you
Happily, befriend you
(C.D. and Chorus) Chic hairdos!
Cuba Gooding! Beyonce!
You'll just stare, observe their hair
Amazing! You can't turn away
In that chair
See the copse she's raising there
(Gus) I think this one is a goner
(C.D.) No, sir, that's Sinead O'Connor
(Gus) Holy smokes! Stevie Nicks?
(C.D.) No, that's Weird Al Yankovic
(Chorus) Why, it's just a parody
Of famous tetes
They'll be a friend for life
They'll bitch less than your wife
They're Chia Pests
(C.D.) Finely tressed,
There are optional hairnets
(C.D. and Chorus) Chia Pests!
(C.D.) They are so deserving
Of a master who's unswerving
It would thrill them, if your sill, they'd sit upon
Add some water and they will be fruitful
Suddenly, a lovely mane, they've grown
You don't have to walk "em
And, you cannot overtalk "em
They will listen to you, till you speak your fill
No noise, they just lay around, no hassle
Maybe Patrick Swayze?
Or, one of the Dukes? Ah, Daisy!
(Chorus) Chia Pests!
They will thrive at your behest
Over there's Mariah Carey
With new growth upon her chest
Watch them spurt
From their seeds
Life in action, yes indeed
(Gus) That's one gauche white Anglo-Saxon
(C.D.) Au contraire, it's Michael Jackson
See Kate's Moss
(Gus) What's that coming out his tush?
(C.D.) I give up! That one just has to make a mess
(Chorus) But, brother, you can't lose
If, Forrest Gump, you choose
They're Chia Pests!
(Chorus) Chia Pests!
In demand from east to west
They keep flying off our shelves to loving homes
Such a thrill
Watch them grow
If you've bought any, you know
Marge's blue-do is humongous
Don't they look like
Loads of fun, Gus?
Fine or course
"Fro or bun
They will sprout in shade or sun
They're the greatest of the flora, we profess
We think you really need "em
They need you, can't beat "em
WE'RE CHIA PESTS!
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|How Funny: ||4.5|
|Overall Rating: ||4.5|
|Total Votes: ||28|
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