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Song Parodies -> "Eat the Rest (The Fear Factor Song)"

Original Song Title:

"Be Our Guest"

Original Performer:

Beauty and the Beast

Parody Song Title:

"Eat the Rest (The Fear Factor Song)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Obviously, a song about Fear Factor and it's high-quality entertainment value. If the pacing isn't perfect-sounding, I used the lyrics of the Broadway production, which may have had some overlapping lines here and there. Thanks for bearing with me.
[Joe Rogan]:! Eat the rest!
Pick it up, that's my behest
Set the clock for fifteen minutes
Yes, for time, you're surely pressed!
You've endured
Up to here
Time to prove you have no fear
Try the grey stuff,
(It's intestines)
Bound to cause you indigestion!
You can gag, close your eyes
But you'll never win the prize
If you finish it, you'll be our winning guest!
Go on, unsheathe your spoon
You'll be a winner soon
Just eat the rest,
Eat the rest,
Eat the rest!

[Joe and Contestants]:
Worm Rangoon,
Broth of bile,
Pizza pie "Fear Factor" style!

[Joe Rogan]:
It is made of toxic Play-Doh™
Sauce is human blood...

How vile!

[Joe Rogan]:
You're upset
And you're scared
But we'll bleep you if you swear
You're hysterical, complaining
(Tell me THIS ain't entertaining!)
Ha, you choked!
Ho, you spit!
God, this is some funny shit...

Come on, eat it all, be hasty!
Don't forget
That if you clean your plate
Your final stunt awaits!
So eat the rest

[Joe Rogan]:
Eat, unless
You don't want to be the best!

[Contestants (mockingly)]:
Eat the rest!
Eat the rest, eat the rest
Oh, disgusting, you're a mess!
Are you liking your entrée?

[Joe Rogan]:
What did she say?

She said "Oh, yes!"
Bite the head! Taste the brain!
We love watching you in pain.
Though we're jeering, we've yet to learn
How we'll like it when it's OUR turn...

Hear you shriek, hear you squeal
What an entertaining meal!
You are nauseous, sick, and crying - we're obsessed!
So just keep suff'ring, for
That's why this show's adored!
Now, eat the rest!

[Joe Rogan]:
Are you stressed?


[Joe Rogan]:
Almost done with your test!
Now you'll hear of your next quest
You'll kayak while on your back
Straight down Niag-ra falls - undressed
If you can't cross THIS bridge
You won't have that priv-e-lige
You'll be losing many Lincolns
So get chewin', stop your thinkin'!
Vomiting? Slurp it down!
We can't risk a dirty GROUND!
Keep it in! All those at home will be impressed!

You've lots to eat, you know!

[Joe Rogan]:
Your time is running low,
So eat the rest!


You've transgressed...

[Home viewers]:
We protest!
Eat the rest, eat the rest!

[Joe Rogan (in a slow, reflective manner)]:
I'm so good at hosting...
Always obnoxiously boasting
I'm a hunk who's *barely* drunk when on the air
Ah, those good old days when shows were tasteful...
Screw them all, 'cause now MY show is there!
Five seasons, still running
Quality programs, still shunning
Many waivers signed, in case someone gets killed
(Though some, we don't give out - too much hassle...)
Gory, gross and risqué
Catch us ev'ry night on Mondays!

[Home viewers]:
Eat the rest! Eat the rest!
That's the sick, wrong world's request!
Wipe your tears, swallow your entrée and your fear
We do not jest!
We're such ill psychopaths
Yes, your torture makes us laugh!
Now your item's cold, not steaming
Let us help you,
We'll keep SCREAMING...'s...gross, you must chew
'Til you shout, "I'M GONNA SPEW!"
But we'll whisk you off the stage if it digests!
Well, evidently, fear
Is not a factor here, so
Eat the rest! Eat the rest!
Who'd've guessed?
You ate... [gag] the... [choke]....[REETTTTCCH]....

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 29

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   1
 4   2
 5   24

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Leo Jay - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
This is brilliant. Wow.
EmiLoca - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Leo. Today I worked 10-6 and came home just about bubbling over to see what the critics' reactions were...well, I'm glad you liked it, anyhow. :-)
Ethan Mawyer - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I voted already i thought it was great... you really have no business saying that you don't belong in the group parodies on the messageboard
EmiLoca - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Ethan, for your words of kindness. And the vote! See, it's so much easier thanking people for their votes if they step out and acknowledge themselves. Come on...don't be shy...?
Claude Prez - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I can't BELIEVE this doesn't have more votes. And I thought you were being polite about that group parody stuff; you can't be this good and not know it.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I agree with your wailings, this did deserve love. Where is the love? Oh, that's right. TJ massacred its meaning. Loved this one cuz I've actually seen the show and know what you're on about! I knew that The Simpson's Mr Burns song 'See My Vest' was a rip-off of something, but I thought it was 'See My Best' so couldn't find the original lyrics on Google. Your parody totally rocked, and restrained using 'incest' as a rhyme whilst still changing each time! *Jurassic Park guy* Clever girl! 5s
Phil Alexander - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Having never come across "The Fear Factor", I'd not have looked at this without your comment on the messageboard. And that would have been a great shame - this is sheer brilliance, you managed to keep it sharp, witty and original all the way through. On a par with Claude's "Pee our test" - which is high praise indeed.
EmiLoca - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you to Claude, JARLB, and Phil for the comments! I worked quite hard on this one and like to hear that my efforts paid off somehow. That's...really all I can say. I'm kind of shocked that it's being received so well.
EmiLoca - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay, that last comment I posted made me sound really quite pitiful. Let me rephrase: I'm GLAD that it's being received so well. Still speechless...
Tibbygirl - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, Emi, that was really, really good. I mean really. You're so talented!!! *wipes tear from eye* I'm just so proud!!! I particularly liked NBC's line "You're transgressing..." because i don't know why. It was random....and funny. It was great, Em!!! Peachy!!!
JARLB - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
From last night onwards I will use' JARLB' as my comment persona as it just save so much time over 'Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni)' and is another word that has none others that rhyme with it... except for 'Parlb'. Once again, this deserves to be received so well.
Candelabra - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
You da best, you da best, EmiLoca you da best!
EmiLoca - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
More thank-ye's are in order, I believe. Thanks Tibby (it always brings tears to my eyes to hear that my work resembles and/or relates to a peach), thanks AGAIN "JARLB" (what about "Marlb", as in short for Marlboro?), and thanks to the singing Candelabra! Oh whee, I feel that giggly girlish feeling coming on...
JARLB - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
That's me. I really should stop coming on to you seeing there's a rock on your finger. (Literally. A rock. We still can't get them dang rings out!)
EmiLoca - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
When I married my first husband, he rubber-cemented a polished stone to my thumb. When I pointed out that he didn't even attach it to the correct finger, I made him pull it off. Unfortunately, being an uncoordinated but very strong child, he pulled my thumb from its socket as well as the rock. Heartbroken (and thumb-broken) I rushed back into the classroom, screaming, "TREVOR PULLED IT OUT!!!" Thus, my first marriage resulted in a finger splint and double-jointedness. - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment

We old farts are being shown up by the gifted adolescents. I sure wish I coulda written like that at age 15. To Philbo's comment, I would add Bob Gomez's "Feed by Breast" - also a stunner. Finally, Ms. L'oca, I'm looking forward to the Fear Factor where the million dollar challenge is to consume Joe Rogan. Completely.
EmiLoca - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Philbo? Oh, so THAT's who he is...up to this point, I thought they were two different people. *grovels* Almighty Spaff! Wizard of the witty word, master of snarky goodness! Pointer-out-er of the glaringly obvious! I am unworthy of your praise!

But thanks anyway. :-)
Ashkicksass - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow. This is incredible.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Well well well, so my old friend Trevor didn't borrow my pet rock and rubber cement for a science project! Can your thumb belly dance? Mine can, you sort of pop it in and out in a flowing movement.
EmiLoca - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, AKA! My dear, YOU are incredible. Ah, yes...My thumb, too, can belly dance. My wrist can also do the twirly thing.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Trick thigh? (I mean, apart from the neat trick where it turns into a discarded loin of rotting pork)
Tibbygirl - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
She has a swiveling elbow. I got nothing.
Ash - July 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Very well done! I didn't expect to get such a kick out of this parody! All 5s!
Jeff Reuben - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment
This was very good...I was into Fear Factor for awhile, this parody's funny and catches the show well.
2nz - July 09, 2004 - Report this comment
One of Best, honored Guest, and I now cannot digest. This is excellent work, Brit. You have outdone yourself. You had me at 'Go on, unsheath your spoon, You°ll be a winner soon'
EmiLoca - July 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Ash, Jeff Reuben, and...Adagio. *pointed stare at 2nz*
Rick D - July 09, 2004 - Report this comment
This is brilliant. I read somewhere that you are 15. Hard to believe, given the "maturity' of your work. ( I use that term sarcastically, since I for one do this with immature glee)
Claude Prez - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
A pleasure to read this one again. My favorite Joe Rogan story is the one where this chick was freaking out cause she didn't want to eat some bug or something, taking a long time. Joe gets impatient and tells her to just eat it. She says like, "Why don't YOU eat it?" So he picks it up, eats it, smiles and says, "See? That's why girls don't get to be president." Anyway, GREAT parody.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 19, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I've already plagued your comments board enough. Greeeeat work.
EmiLoca - July 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you to all who have commented/voted/either/or as of late.

Rick D. - Immaturity is right up there next to cleanliness. Thanks for stopping by!
Claude Prez - Nice to see you 'round again, and GREAT story.
JARLB - Yeah, really. Time to think up some clever alter egos to post under. Try Jay Keralfing....or J. K. Ralphing...heyyy! *doink*
Kristof Robertson - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Why did I not vote on this first time round? Bloody good, Emi!! 55
Bob O'Mara - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Very nice parody. I actually did not know that you did a parody of this song, but yours is truely magnificent! Great job!
Lissa - July 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Bloody brilliant!
John Jenkins - July 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Very well rhymed, very good parody with a very good conclusion.
Johnny D - July 27, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Awesome.
Meriadoc - July 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I am going to have to pass on this one, as I'm not familiar with the song, and the version I downloaded didn't follow with this one at all, and I have no idea what Fear Factor is.... :-/
Peregrin - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
I liked this Emi. My personal fear factor is when Merry catches me trying to substitute 'up' sounding syllables with 'down' ones! You don't know real fear until you are caught doing that!
ethan - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
abc's... see above
JUNE 2004 SONG OF THE MONTH - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Silver Medalist,2106.0.html
;-) - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Second in June, but first in our hearts!
(No offense, -- you da man, but... she's such a cutie!)
JUNE 2004 SONG OF THE MONTH SILVER MEDAL - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment;topic=3009.0;id=1334;image - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Tell me THIS ain't entertaining! Still great.
John Jenkins - February 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good word play and very good finish.
2nz - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Still excellently written and revolting, EMI. My apologies for messing up your name earlier. And what everyone else said.
gel - May 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I was laughing so hard that my mom was wondering if Id be ok. Great Job!!!!!
Laura Flake - October 08, 2009 - Report this comment
I love it!! "Fear Factor" is one of my favorite shows! I give the parody 5 out of 5 stars!! It's terrific! "Fear Factor" rocks!!

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