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Song Parodies -> "Nobody But Gaston"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Beauty and the Beast

Parody Song Title:

"Nobody But Gaston"

Parody Written by:

Scrawny Johnny

The Lyrics

Another long song...eliminated middle part of the movie (y'know, when "crazy ol Maurice" interrupts the song) and I just continued on after that.
Gosh, it annoys me to see you, Gaston
Being the strange dude you are
Every guy here cannot stand you, Gaston
When you come down to the bar

There's no man in town as goofy as you
You're everyone's gullible guy
Everyone's scared and embarrassed by you
And there's so many reasons for why's...dumb as Gaston
No one's weird as Gaston
No one picks their nose out in public like Gaston

But his name is reallly pronounced "Gas-Tun"
It's French, he'd always boast
Nothing cool like Tom, Moe, or Justin
But it's really the next part that bugs us the most

No one burps like Gaston
Or farts loud like Gaston
No one writes their initials with pee like Gaston
As a stupid-head, yes, he's so disgusting
My what a dope that Gaston!

Gaston is a wimp; no bark, no bite
He even sleeps with a teddy bear at night like Gaston
Has B.O. like Gaston
In the morning no one has bad breath like Gaston

For he claims he's too manly for tooth-care
And he says real men don't take baths
He's a poison to our precious gross!
But his foolish pride is what bring all the laughs

No one cries like Gaston
No one whines like Gaston
No one throws a big temper tantrum like Gaston
And sometimes he runs down the street butt-naked
Cover your eyes, it's Gaston

He chews all his food with his mouth open wide
And he watches Barney everyday
He knows all the songs and he sings them with pride
So I hope he's not planning to stay like Gaston
Wears spandex like Gaston
Or goes dancing around in pink skirts like Gaston
His feminine side makes him so flamboyant
My what a flame...Gaston!

Now, wait, I'm afraid it's not over
I've just been handed this note
It seems Gaston's having a performance
And we're invited to come, he wrote

Now we all have been sitting and thinking
And we all think that it is OK
We all know that Gaston loves to dress-up and prance
So right now let's go watch his ballet like Gaston
Does the splits like Gaston
I wish I could do those same moves like Gaston
I can't believe he can yodel in the nude
I wanna be...Gaston! *whew*

(Cheers and roars from the audience)
Another song from Scrawny Johnny's 1st album- "Swallow the Leader"(Stay tuned for Scrawny Johnny's next album-"Master of Grilling!" Coming soon!)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   2
 3   3
 4   7
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

DJL - June 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Man, this is just hilarious! Taking a song PRAISING Gaston and making it into one that insults him! XD Awesome job! 5 stars!
gel - May 10, 2009 - Report this comment
My sister's school did a production of Beauty and the Beast last month. My sister was Chip and I had so much fun helping out with my mom. As for the song, I think it fits Gaston's personality quite nicely. Imagine if someone sang it to him. He wouldn't be happy about that!! AWSOME JOB!!!!!!!!!!
Gari J - May 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Just found this in the latest comments, this is well wriiten it rolls of the tounge well paced 555
Kaylani - May 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Laughed my f***ing ass off. Great song. the part, Noone cries like gaston, where he runs down the street bare assed, had me laughing in class.
Rezanni - May 17, 2010 - Report this comment
This song can best be summed up as ''F$@! you Gaston!'' I never did like that ass wipe so I have no against this parody. Great work, Scrawny John.
Yashina - June 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Dude, WTF! And I mean that in the best way. Hysterical laughter on account of this song has my peers asking if I'm a pothead.LOL
Merde - December 30, 2016 - Report this comment
No one farts like Gaston Then departs like Gaston, and destroys valuable works of art like Gaston No ones as awesome at flatu lating no body farts like Gaston

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