Mother, father, gave me this damned computer
Not a hero, Pentium zero,
It's like probly the first one in history,
To turn it on, you need a key
Leaves burn marks on the floor
The whole thing just shakes
And then shakes some more,
Type one word, it sparks and lights on fire,
The screen's all blurry, and I'm in a hurry,
16K memory,
I have...
Apple 3....Apple 3....Apple 3....Apple 3....

"Now son, hear me, there's nothing wrong with its condition"
That's madness, shoot me,
The motherboard's just crap and the text is grainy,
It was obsolete in spring,
Of 1981,
Gave apples a bad name,
The games are no fun,
I was promised it would e-mail letters,
A dust-filled motor, no solitaire or poker,
16K memory
I have...
Apple 3....Apple 3....Apple 3....Apple 3....

Tell them to upgrade to Pentium 3, yeah,
It's got a crappy processor,
It makes a nifty trash can,
I have...
Apple 3....Apple 3....Apple 3....Apple 3....