Doctor Phil is gonna talk!
His words are real and kind!
He'll look into your soul
And he'll peer into your mind!

But who the hell is he
To say who I should be?
After only ten minutes
He can not really know me
And yet he still will say
How I can change my way
I hear it all the time
'Cause he says the same thing everyday!

But Doc Phil is gonna talk!
And his words are real and kind!
He'll look into your soul
And he'll peer into your mind!
And he's going to write a book
It will say how men should be
And he'll give that book to Oprah
To make sure all women read!

And he'll tell people what should be obvious
And he'll make his millions saying men are idiots
He and Oprah pro'bly sit down
To plan thier shows
And both their ratings still are high
How that happens, I don't know...

Doc Phil is going to talk!

*guitar solo*

But I still will watch him every single day
Even though I can predict easily what he's gonna say
Maybe that's the real magic of Doctor Phil McGraw
I guess I just gotta get real: that show is never gonna go off!

And so Doc Phil is going to talk! (Dooocter Phil is going talk!)
And there's nothing I can do! (And there's nothing much that I can do!)
'Cause you'll still watch (Dooocter Phil is going to talk!)
And I will, too! (And you'll watch him, yes, and I will, too!)

Doc Phil is gonna talk! (He'll taaaaaaaaalk!)
Phil is gonna talk!
Phil is gonna talk!
Doc Phil is gonna talk!
Oh yes, he's gonna talk! (The doctor's going to taaaaaalk!)
He's gonna talk a lot!
He'll talk about his thoughts!
And still, Doc Phil will talk!
Doc Phil is gonna talk!
Doctor Phil is gonna talk!