DIRECTORS:
Maybe you've heard of a terrible place
Where the movie directors collect in a lair!
Maybe you've heard of that mythical place
Called the Court of Bad Movies-

UWE BOLL:
Hello, you're there!

DIRECTORS:
Where the movies suck,
And the films just bomb.

UWE BOLL:
Is it just bad luck?
It's a pretty big doubt
That's what this is about!

DIRECTORS:
We know our movies are terribly awful,
Rather like eggs, socks, and crap in a can!
But we don't worry, because we know
That there are movies produced by a talentless man!

=========

UWE BOLL:
Not long ago, I had issued a challenge
For anyone who wished to criticize me!
Just what the hell were they thinking when
They gave 4 stars I deserved to "Super-Size Me?"

---------------

UWE BOLL:
Now that the movie is almost completed--

LOWTAX:
Your movies blow!

UWE BOLL:
Wanna go?

LOWTAX:
Bring it, fool!

UWE BOLL:
You think you're horribly clever,
Trying to get the last word...

LOWTAX:
You're a humanoid tool!

UWE BOLL:
(Damn.)