I called up Alan on the telephone
Help me Alan, something's wrong
I can't stall it, remember your car?
I lost control and drove into a bar

I said the steering wheel's gone and the frames all bent
The brake light's smashed and the sides have dents
It's twisted in every way but loose
He said, it sounds like my car used to be brand new
No doubt my car used to be brand new

I told the police what I had done
No more of this joking around
They looked at me like I was a fool
And said, come on tell us what really happened to you?

I said the steering wheel's gone and the frames all bent
The brake light's smashed and the sides have dents
It's twisted in every way but loose
They said, it sounds like his car used to be brand new
No doubt his car used to be brand new

Well, I tossed and turned that car all night
Holding that steering wheel on for life
There ain't nothing I could do
They said, it sounds like his car used to be brand new
No doubt his car used to be brand new