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Song Parodies -> "Bionic"

Original Song Title:

"Ironic"

Original Performer:

Alanis Morrisette

Parody Song Title:

"Bionic"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

I wrote this song before I realized there was a song with the same name already on this site. I think it's clear that neither was written with knowledge of the other.
A young man got shot into space
He came back to Earth and crashed the next day
The doctors said that he could be saved
And they built two new arms, an eye and two legs
Isn't it bionic, don't you think?

He can outrun a speeding train
He can lift rocks, no matter how much they weigh
He can read a sign from real far away
How much did it cost? Six million.

The OSI thinks he can be revived
They bought a telescope to replace his left eye
He waited his whole damn life for that space flight
And as the pod crashed down, he thought
Well, isn't this nice?
But he will be bionic, don't you think?

He can outrun a speeding train
He can lift rocks, no matter how much they weigh
He can read a sign from real far away
How much did it cost? Six million.

Well he didn't like his fate, he tried to kill himself
Until a nurse told him everything'll be alright
And nuclear powered legs helped him out when
He thought everything was lost and everything was gone
Below his waist

He runs to work if he's gonna be late
He smashes through walls when they get in his way
He resigned as a pilot, to lead a life as a spy
He met the woman of his dreams
When Jamie Summers caught his eye
And isn't it bionic, don't you think?
A little too bionic...and yeah, I really do think.

He can outrun a speeding train
He can lift rocks, no matter how much they weigh
He can read a sign from real far away
How much did it cost? Six million.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 30

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   3
 2
 1
 
 4   7
 6
 5
 
 5   19
 20
 23
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rice Cube - March 26, 2003 - Report this comment
The title alone made me chuckle ;-) I had a problem pacing part of your chorus (the "six million" part in particular) but maybe that's just me. 4/5/5.
Yoness - March 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Pretty good. Just thinking about that silly show (which I watched religiously) is funny. I think Steve Austin only had one bionic arm - I always wondered how the normal arm kept up with the bionic one when he lifted things over his head!
Spaff.com - June 20, 2003 - Report this comment
"Boob Operation" led me to your other stuff. Well done. And while pacing is an overrated quality, in my brain, "And who would have thought? It figures" matches up perfectly with "How much did it cost? Six million." So, yeah, Rice, it is just you. ;-)
Adagio - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(Fantasy/Sci-Fi) Reads well.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
(SCI-FI) I agree, I know nothing about the Six Million Dollar Man (I can only assume he is the original Inspector Gadget) but this was a great read.
Phil Alexander - October 14, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but I do remember the Six Million Dollar Man (hell, didn't $6M sound like such a lot of money in those days?), and a very enjoyable parody, too :-)
Johnny D - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(Sci-Fi/Fantasy) The original song...you have rebuilt it...you have the parodology...you made it better than it was...better...funnier...gassier!
Guy - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
(SCI-FI) Loved it. I used to watch this show almost religiously. Well done.
Paul Robinson - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
(Sci-Fi) Ironically, I am DKTOS on the OS. But I did watch the "Six Million Dollar Man" and, as Phil already noted, inflation sure has done a number on that number...for $6-mil you probably can't even bribe Dick Cheney to help you rip-off the U.S. Taxpayers for billions of dollars. But I digress...it's a very fun read...
2nz - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
We can rebuild him. Make him better than he was before. Better, funner, Reubener...(what? the last two aren't words? Well why didn't you tell me that before I sent it in?!?) Nice one, Jeff
martha - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I remember the 6 Million Dollar Man very well .. great to be reminded of the show!... very neat parody .... 5s
AMIRIGHT SCI-FI/FANTASY PARODY CONTEST - BRONZE MEDAL - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=4232.0;id=1976;image
Agrimorfee - April 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Some below-the-radar digital TV network is running the SixM$ and Bionic Woman shows. God, I am old enough to remember how Steve Austin and The Fonz were the BOMB. A little more chorus variation woulda taken it up a notch, but great subs in it regardless.
Matthias - April 19, 2013 - Report this comment
This is a good one. A real Reuben classic. I'm glad you entered this one into the competition. I really liked watching the 6 Million Dollar Man back when my dad would put it on.
Rex - April 20, 2013 - Report this comment
But why did they rebuild him with that "na na na na na" sound every time he used his bionics? Fun recap of the series.
Max Power - April 21, 2013 - Report this comment
One can make it stronger...faster...
bobpiecheese - April 23, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I only have a very rudimentary knowledge of The Six Million Dollar Man, culled from Internet shows and Eddie Izzard, but I still thoroughly enjoyed myself here. Some of the lines were paced a bit off, but I'm putting the blame on Alanis' sketchy singing, 9-year-old parody be damned. 555!
Abbott Skelding - April 23, 2013 - Report this comment
I really like the title switch and there were a lot of funny lines in here...however the pacing was a bit off in a few different places, and there was a bit too much usage of original lyrics for my taste. But still a really nice job!
Arwen - April 23, 2013 - Report this comment
Artistry...soooo...this was a little before my time, but I can't believe I never went back and read it before now. 10 years late? No biggie. Loved this, Jeff...the totally non-scientific vagueness of "real far away" made me LOL.
Blaydeman - April 23, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Hilarious title switch and the content was hysterical! Pacing was a little iffy, but the comedy far surpasses that.

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