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Song Parodies -> "Hand In Your Pocket (The Gold-digger's Anthem)"

Original Song Title:

"Hand In My Pocket"

Original Performer:

Alanis Morissette

Parody Song Title:

"Hand In Your Pocket (The Gold-digger's Anthem)"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

If I can write enough Alanis Morissette parodies, I think I will call them 'The Scary Little Be-atch Collection.' In writing this particular parody I discovered two things: 1) Taking a non-rhyming Alanis Morissette song and turning it into a rhyming one is daaaaaammmn hard, and 2) I have an obsession with making songs ryhme - NO MATTER WHAT - that borders on OCD. Hmmm...... wonder if that should worry me at all...?
You’re there and I’ve seen you
So I’m coming through
You’re dressed in Armani – yeah!
Resistance is futile
You’re lost in my killer smile
I’m after your money, baby!

And what it all comes down to
Is that I don’t know if you’re a good bet yet
So I’ve got one hand in your pocket
And I’m real impressed with your big… wallet

So can I be your escort?
My skirt is obscenely short
I’m in a bikini, yeah!
So give me the hard sell
Your job, does it pay you well?
I’ll have a martini, baby

And what we could get down to
Is dependant on how much you’re gonna spend
So I’ve got one hand in your pocket
Just to see if you brought your flexible friend!

*instrumental – for some hardcore flirting!*

And maybe I’ll put out too
So do you think you can accommodate my lifestyle?
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in your pocket
And the contents are really making me smile!

You don’t stare at my chest
You’re sweet and well-dressed
You love Liza* and Cher, baby
I’m not making headway
I’m guessing you’re prob’ly gay
And so you won’t go there, baby!

So what goes up comes down too
And it looks like you just dropped me from a great big height
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in your pocket
And it’s obvious I’m not getting it tonight

But this is your friend Andrew, oh boy! Yeah!
And he says that he’s very big in I.T
So I’ll put my hand in his pocket
And I’m hoping that he’ll be big enough for me!
*The Liza in question being Liza Minelli, who has a humungous gay fanbase. Just in case you thought I was being obtuse there (which I probably am, but hey...)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rick C - November 03, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm putting my hand in my pocket and pulling out three 5s.
Rebekah - November 04, 2007 - Report this comment
This song is funny! Next time I go karaoke, I want to practice the lyrics and sing it. I bet I'll get some big laughs.
Kristof Robertson - November 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Anyone reading this comment, please take note...THIS GAL IS BRILLIANT! Wendy gets the Overlord Kristof Seal of Approval, and if you've not read any of her stuff, you're SO missing out. 555+++

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