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Song Parodies -> "He Once Could Bite"

Original Song Title:

"Because The Night"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

10,000 Maniacs

Parody Song Title:

"He Once Could Bite"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

Don't fear him, baby, that undead man
Hold him close, and you'll understand

Desire and hunger is the fire he breathes
Blood is the banquet on which he feeds

Go on now, and you'll understand
The way love feels under his command

Take his hand, as the sun descends
He can't hurt you now
Can't hurt you now
Can't hurt you now-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow!

He once could bite,
And bleed his lover!
He once could bite,
To feed blood-lust!

He once could bite,
Now he's a gummer -
He once could bite,
Now he just sucks...

(Oh) You might doubt, maybe, when you're alone
Blood is the drink for his empty soul

He's a dark angel, who bites in vain
'Cause in his head, not a tooth remains

Go on now, and you'll understand
The way love feels with an undead man

Take his hand, as the sun descends
He can't hurt you now
Can't hurt you now
Can't hurt you now-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow!

He once could bite,
And bleed his lover!
He once could bite,
To feed blood-lust!

He once could bite,
Now he's a gummer -
He once could bite,
Now he just sucks...

(instrumental)

For blood,
he weeps -
Without
it,
Vicious hunger yearns,
and burns!
Without
Teeth, oh he cannot bite -
He gives,
you goth-ic hickies,
He will leave,
red lines,
you feel,
the weal,
Of hickies now...
Hickies now...
Hickies now-ow-ow-ow, OH!!

He once could bite,
And bleed his lover!
He once could bite,
To feed blood-lust!

He once could bite,
Now he's a goner -
Once he was a vampire of death,
but now he's dust...

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dee Range - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Too many great lines to quote...this is GREAT!!! Awesome, Johnny 5's
Stuart McArthur - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm tipping a hickey would be a GOOD result from a night with that bloke, all things considered...... inspired as usual Johnny - 555
Kristof Robertson - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Is there something you're not telling us, JD?...Or should I call you Vlad? :-) 555s
Arwen - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Kristof totally took my comment!! (pouting now!) Nice work, Johnny! 5s...
John Barry - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Another song about Cheney.
Ashkicksass - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
LMAO! So so so clever!!
Know 1 can hear you dream - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
There's false teeth you know, or, with eternity to spend, he could just gum you to death.
Serafina - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Nicely done, JD. Keep up the good work!
Johnny D - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you Dee & Stuart & Kristof & Arwen & JB & Ashkicksass & Peter & Serafina!
Happy Phantom - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
that is just frickin' awesome. You do not know how hard I laughed while reading this. Sounds like something I'd sing to freak a friend out.
Johnny D - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Happy Phantom. The " ? " question-mark characters are actually supposed to be " - " hyphen/dash-characters, but they got munged by a software glitch on AmIRight some months ago and turned into question-marks.
Agrimorfee - February 15, 2006 - Report this comment
(luv contest '06) What I loved about this was the odd incongruency between the gothic poetry and the ridiculousness of a fangless Dracula. Nice.
bobpiecheese - February 16, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUVCOMP) Reminds of a really bad joke: What do you call an old vampire? An old sucker. Terrible, I know. But this parody is not terrible. Good job, Johnny D.
Matthias - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
I Vant To Give Vou Fives!!! 1-2-3-4-5... Bwa, hwa, hwa, hwa, hwa!!!
Rick C - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUVCOMP) Is this that same vampire that was in your Doors parody "Bite My Tire"? EXCELLENT work as always, John. 555
Stuart McArthur - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUV) see above - brilliant JD
S.T.G. - February 28, 2006 - Report this comment
That is an amazing parody of a true lover named Dracula.
Arwen - February 28, 2006 - Report this comment
LOVE...still very funny, Johnny...and great OS!
Luke Brattoni - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUVCOMP) 'Bites in vain'... too funny, JD. Suck on these 5s.
Larry Hensley - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUV) Spookingly funny parody, 5's

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