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Song Parodies -> "Fartless Man"

Original Song Title:

"Sharp Dressed Man"

Original Performer:

ZZ Top

Parody Song Title:

"Fartless Man"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

Sul-fur, leg-umes
But I don't blow where guys often do

Bean soup, re-fried (re-fried!)
I don't need a breeze nearby

They come runnin' just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a fartless man

Blue cheese, onion ring
I ain't gassin' from a single thing

No stuff stinks, with-in
When I eat out ain't gonna do you in

They're nose-breathin' just as deep as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a fartless man

Eggs poached, eggs fried
I can even eat pickled raw-hide

Black beans, sauer-kraut
Ain't no farts, within or without

They're all smilin' sniffin' back near my can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a fartless man

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Arwen - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Good stuff, Johnny!
Ashkicksass - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
I wish that a fartless man actually existed! But alas, I don't think I'll ever see the day...
John Barry - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
I tried to sing this, but I was flat. The parody's sharp, though, especially the first line.
Know 1 can hear you dream - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
This stinks of psychological knowledge and understanding, especially knowledge and understanding of the female psyche (and nose). I'd give you 555 odour-eaters, but what would be the point... no, wait, that WOULD be the point(s). :-)
Adagio - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL...that was a good one!
Rick D - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
There is great danger in being fartless. "The Man Who Could Not Cut the Cheese" Johnny, you're probably the only one that would notice I took a few days off. Now I owe you three plugs
Dee Range - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
What an imagination, JD!. Most guys eat 1 bean and fart twice!.Nicejob on this great old tune. 5 5 5
Scrawny Johnny - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Read your parody and I thought it was a gas!! Hilariously funny and clever but, unfortunately to the dismay of every woman, we both know that there is no such thing as a fartless man!!! However, this parody allows all women to indulge into fantasies of this false and impossible reality! Oh and by the way, thanks for your comments on my parody! It's nice to be noticed by a top-ten parody veteran for once, especially since I'm a currently number 211 parody-rookie!
Paul Robinson - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - Well, I fart, but it smells just like Old Spice...honest...5's for this non-pungent parody, sir. Rick D - Uh, uh...I noticed you weren't around, too...
Johnny D - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Arwen, Ashkicksass, JB, Peter, Pat, Rick, Dee, Scrawny Johnny, and PR.

Highlander, thanks, I took you up on your offer for one of those plugs.

Scrawny Johnny, so you're a "211 In-Progress", eh? Good plan. Keep up the good work!
2Eagle - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
I envy him, but I would rather have farts that smell like a pine forest.
Johnny D - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, 2Eagle. Pine forest? You could use some of those little balsam fir incense logs as suppositories I suppose...

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