Last Christmas I laid you my fart.
Butt the very next day.
You blew it away.
This yearI think I'll turn queer.
I'll lay it for someone special.

Last ChristmasI laid you my fart.
Butt the very next day.
You blew it away.
This yearI think I'll turn queer.
I'll lay it for someone special.

[Synth]

Once shat-on and twice shy.
You keep your distance.
From what's north of my thigh.
Smell me baby.
Do you recognize me?
Well I drank cheap beer.
It doesn't surprise me.

(Merry Christmas)
I gassed it up and sent it.
With a note saying.
I farted I meant it.
Now I know just how cruel I've been.
Butt if you kissed me now.
I know I'de fool you again.

Last ChristmasI laid you my fart.
Butt the very next day.
You blew it away.
This yearI think I'll turn queer.
I'll lay it for someone special.

Last ChristmasI laid you my fart.
Butt the very next day.
You blew it away.
This yearI think I'll turn queer.
I'll lay it for someone special.

(Oh)

(Oh my colon)

[Synth]

A crowded room.
Friends with teary eyes.
I'm farting on you.
Through your "stop it", cries.
My God I thought you were.
Someone to fart on.
Me?
I guess I was a gas to pass on.

A face of a lover with a fire in his heart.
A match under covers would blow me apart.
(Owww Owww)
Now I've found some Bean-O.
I'll never gas you again.

Last ChristmasI laid you my fart.
Butt the very next dayYou blew it away.
This yearI think I'll turn queer.
I'll lay it for someone special.

Last ChristmasI laid you my fart.
Butt the very next day.
You blew it away.
This yearI think I'll turn queer.
I'll lay it for someone special.

A face of a lover with a fire in his heart.
A match under covers would blow me apart.
Maybe next year I'll lay it for someone.
I'll lay it for someone special.