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Song Parodies -> "Buy Me A Condom"

Original Song Title:

"Buy Me A Condo"

Original Performer:

Weird Al Yankovic

Parody Song Title:

"Buy Me A Condom"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Written after the initial "Safe Sex" campaigns were instituted by the US Government due to the AIDS outbreak. Fun!
I'm gonna buy me a condom
And one for my sweetheart
Put one on for security
Save one with my credit cards
I'm gonna buy me a condom
When I want to go and spawn
And the funny little balloon
Will stay with me 'til dawn

Wo, used to do all the dance clubs
But I don't do that no more
Had to change my lifestyle
And visit the old drugstore
Now I'm just a lonely bank exec
With a nice bi-level downtown
Sold all my Barry White records
And I listen to New Age now

Wo, gonna throw out the incense
Play a game of Mah-Jongg
A little more celibacy
A little less of the Ping-Pong
Just do what what the surgeon general has instructed me to do
I'm wearing one right now
Could I say the same for you?

Ain't gonna play the field no more
Unless I have on my protector
Ain't gonna play the field no more
Unless I have on my protector
I feel so very hard--I need a
Trojan before I dare start
(Chorus, repeatedly)
Copyright 1989, Agrimorfee

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   2
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rick D - November 11, 2003 - Report this comment
This is one of my fave Al songs.
Your Worst Nightmare - March 13, 2004 - Report this comment
You are truly disgusting. You really are. I can't vote this.
ZZ - December 23, 2005 - Report this comment
I hate it.
Agrimorfee - February 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Dear ZZ: it's been a pleasure serving you. :)
Anonymous - May 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Dude.. whats your deal... Weird Al and condoms... NOT COOL, Boo-Boo... 1s all around on my part.
Another Anonymous - October 26, 2006 - Report this comment
I second that first anonymous person's comment. You're a sick bastard, and a dumbass.
Stephen Harrington - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
These guys are just haters... I liked it myself, 5s for you.
Matthias - November 05, 2008 - Report this comment
I don't know what is with all of the haters on this one, sure this one is one of your best works, but it's an early one by you and it isn't bad, it just needs a little bit more room. It brings up a good point, and I think these voters are the same kinds of people who think that we should remove Sex-Ed from the classrooms.
Rex - November 07, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Ah, early Agrimorfee. Your writing skills have become more polished over the years, but the wit was there from the start. Fav line: "I'm wearing one right now / Could I say the same for you?"
bobpiecheese - November 17, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Man, all this hate is so unjustified - I mean, who WASN'T thinking of this title sub for this song? ANyways, this was pretty good for early Agri material, just a few pacing problems and the inevitable early-parodist-who-can't-be-bothered-to-vary-the-choruses syndrome, or EPWCBBTVTC Syndrome. Bit of a mouthful, and requires dope to say it, but whatever. 555 condoms for you!
Below Average Dave - November 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Those posts are from a long time ago--clearly some people have limited sense of humor. Personally Agri, I felt this one was a little lacking compared to others by you, the way you turned a lot of the end words into part of your song was cool, and pacing was spot on--all and all 545
Glen S - November 20, 2008 - Report this comment
The song doesn't lend itself amazingly well to parody, but you carried it well Agri. 5s to counteract some others.

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