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Song Parodies -> "They Don't Know (About Love)"

Original Song Title:

"They Don't Know (About Us)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Tracey Ullman

Parody Song Title:

"They Don't Know (About Love)"

Parody Written by:

Sarcastic Paranoid

The Lyrics

For this Valentine's Day, I hereby present this song in which I never use the word "leftard" even once; the only place the word occurs is in this introduction, so you're safely past it now. Nevertheless, I'm sure you people I'm describing in this song know exactly who you are, don't you?
They've fooled around
For such a long time now,
The guys who say they love you,
But won't take the vow;

So why should you
Wait for those lecher guys
If they won't wait for you?
No, they're just telling lies.

No, I don't
Listen to the jerks who say
If you don't "do" me
That I should throw you away,

'Cause they don't know about love;
They don't deserve your trust.

I see them sneering
When they speak of you,
Between each belch and fart,
Spitting tobacco chew.

The morning after,
They pretend they're gay,
And if their gals get pregnant,
They refuse to pay.

So I won't
Hang out with their pinko bands.
They think girls like you
Are three holes, two hands;

'Cause they don't know about love:
They're only jerkin' stuff.

So what if they hate our guts
Just 'cause we're not lewd?
All those commie fudge monkeys
Just hate us because they're screwed!

(Baby!)

So don't heed those
sluts and pederasts:
Whatever thrill they find,
You know it never lasts.

I tell the others
"This gal's with me,
So if you want something,
Go try your boyfriend, see?"

No, I don't
Listen to those wastrel guys
With their flies wide open.
I see through their lies,

'Cause they don't know about love;
There's nothing to discuss.

No, we don't
Listen to those parasites;
When their mouths are open,
They're like sodomites,

'Cause they don't know about love;
They've only worked with lust.
Believe you me, girls, every description I've given of the guys in question is 100% accurate; I work in an all-male environment, and I hear everything they say about you when you're not around. I really mean that line about the sodomites too. I don't care how "straight" you think you are: if you want your girlfriend to perform the same lewd acts on you that any trannie on the street could do, you're about as straight as a three-dollar bill in a gay bar.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   21
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 21
 

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